Frank Viola is a best-selling author, blogger, speaker, and consultant to authors and writers. His mission is to help serious followers of Jesus know their Lord more deeply so they can experience real transformation and make a lasting impact. To learn more about Frank and his work, go to 15+ Years of Projects. To invite Frank to speak at your event, go to his Speaking Page. Frank’s assistant moderates comments.
I loved a juicy story,gossiping is one of sins I struggled with.
However once’s I excepted my calling into ministry I had to pray to God for the Holy Spirit to intervene and to block out folks
issues and struggles that they would tell me. I would say a little prayer after every session, Lord take that information out of my brain until I need for you will!
Also, I would like to know what do you do when you know that someone is actually saying wicked things behind someones back. Pretending to like them so they can get close to their husband,
Just pray about and leave alone like you new nothing at all. Smile and act like you don’t know!
In all things treat the person the way you want to be treated and follow the Lord’s directions on this. For most people who follow Jesus, they’d want someone to come to them directly and privately to verify if in fact they were saying these “wicked things.”
If they were, that’s the sin of slander. So correction is in order in a private and loving way. See my article on “How (Not) To Correct Another Christian” in the archives. My 13 cents.
In my experience the most damage has been caused when the leaders of churches have engaged in this practice. “Somebody in the church brought this information about you to us.” It’s happened in every church I’ve been part if, either to me or somebody I was friends with. Each time I’ve tried to express to the leadership that the Scripture forbids this I’ve been told that its different for leaders. It makes me so sad and angry.
There has been so much of this in the last few months. It is sad to know so many Christians are remaining silent. Why aren’t we speaking out openly on this? No wonder young people are saying, “We like Jesus Christ but we don’t like your Christians.”
The Holy spirit is weeping and the devil is dancing.
My angle as always been, “where is their heart?”
I’ve seen this ruin my friendships… the ladies I am closest to often misrepresent each other and misunderstand each other.
I’m the ‘peacemaker’ and somehow have never been the one caught in these exchanges. When someone says so and so said or so and so this… I generally reply, “but we know her heart and I’m sure there is a reason.” It usually stops it there. And there is no reason for me to share this with so and so. That would just cause unnecessary pain and hurt feelings without the opportunity to deal face to face with the misunderstandings of each others heart.
Its not hard to tell, for me, when there is an underlying reason for sharing this type of news… but mostly, its that one person got hurt and is looking for a reason to justify their pain. Hurting people hurt people. I always direct myself and my friends back to the ‘heart’ so we can love each other without hurting each other.
In my short experience I believe this is the number one killer of unity. I agree with you on the antidote but add that this is so pervasive that when some one say’s “I probably shouldn’t say this, but” or begins a statement going in a similar direction I try to stop them and ask they think they shouldn’t share thus’n such and engage them in conversation about how and why our discussions about Oneanother should be charitable and edifying. I rarely talk about the subject brought up but discuss Who and Who’s we are and talk about why we act in this new way and express Jesus’ heart as he expresses in John 17.
Toni Bean
I needed this article!!!
I loved a juicy story,gossiping is one of sins I struggled with.
However once’s I excepted my calling into ministry I had to pray to God for the Holy Spirit to intervene and to block out folks
issues and struggles that they would tell me. I would say a little prayer after every session, Lord take that information out of my brain until I need for you will!
Also, I would like to know what do you do when you know that someone is actually saying wicked things behind someones back. Pretending to like them so they can get close to their husband,
Just pray about and leave alone like you new nothing at all. Smile and act like you don’t know!
Frank Viola
In all things treat the person the way you want to be treated and follow the Lord’s directions on this. For most people who follow Jesus, they’d want someone to come to them directly and privately to verify if in fact they were saying these “wicked things.”
If they were, that’s the sin of slander. So correction is in order in a private and loving way. See my article on “How (Not) To Correct Another Christian” in the archives. My 13 cents.
Tim
and all this time I thought it was “brethren and cistern”
Dona
In my experience the most damage has been caused when the leaders of churches have engaged in this practice. “Somebody in the church brought this information about you to us.” It’s happened in every church I’ve been part if, either to me or somebody I was friends with. Each time I’ve tried to express to the leadership that the Scripture forbids this I’ve been told that its different for leaders. It makes me so sad and angry.
Marsha
There has been so much of this in the last few months. It is sad to know so many Christians are remaining silent. Why aren’t we speaking out openly on this? No wonder young people are saying, “We like Jesus Christ but we don’t like your Christians.”
The Holy spirit is weeping and the devil is dancing.
Ruth Earnshaw
Dear God help me to stop in my tracks and not spread any seeds of discord….for I have been guilty also!
Jim Puntney
“a dog that brings you a bone, will carry a bone”
Summer
My angle as always been, “where is their heart?”
I’ve seen this ruin my friendships… the ladies I am closest to often misrepresent each other and misunderstand each other.
I’m the ‘peacemaker’ and somehow have never been the one caught in these exchanges. When someone says so and so said or so and so this… I generally reply, “but we know her heart and I’m sure there is a reason.” It usually stops it there. And there is no reason for me to share this with so and so. That would just cause unnecessary pain and hurt feelings without the opportunity to deal face to face with the misunderstandings of each others heart.
Its not hard to tell, for me, when there is an underlying reason for sharing this type of news… but mostly, its that one person got hurt and is looking for a reason to justify their pain. Hurting people hurt people. I always direct myself and my friends back to the ‘heart’ so we can love each other without hurting each other.
Vinny
In my short experience I believe this is the number one killer of unity. I agree with you on the antidote but add that this is so pervasive that when some one say’s “I probably shouldn’t say this, but” or begins a statement going in a similar direction I try to stop them and ask they think they shouldn’t share thus’n such and engage them in conversation about how and why our discussions about Oneanother should be charitable and edifying. I rarely talk about the subject brought up but discuss Who and Who’s we are and talk about why we act in this new way and express Jesus’ heart as he expresses in John 17.
Summer
This is a great response! A method I’ve come to use too. It works!
Pat
Great Post Frank! Thanks for sharing.
Jimmy Reagan
Great article!
Steve Martin
I’m glad none of us has ever done that.
To the extent that I have, I ask the Lord’s forgiveness and pray that I didn’t cause too much damage.
What a bunch of gossips and troublemakers we can be.
It’s no wonder that He had to come and die for us.
_
Thanks for the great reminder that we need to knock it off, and tell others to do the same.