I’ve been a Christian for a long time. Since I was a child.
Observation: God’s people are the most easily offended people on the planet.
And the petty things they get offended over . . . it’s pretty amazing. And even more sad.
Christians get offended more easily than non-Christians.
What’s wrong with this picture? Especially in light of Jesus’ piercing words:
“Blessed is he who is not offended in me.”
Have you been offended by someone recently? Is it over something minor or monumental (tragic)?
Well, here are a few things to consider:
- You are usually offended when you are thinking the worst about someone’s motives and thinking that they were wishing you ill. In other words, you are judging the intents of their heart. Something a believer ought never do. “Love thinks no evil,” Paul said. It doesn’t think the worst about others nor does it judge the motives of another. Whenever we do this, we’re in the flesh. 9 times out of 10 when a Christian is offended with another believer, they have merely misunderstood their fellow brother or sister in Christ and have read things into what they have said and did that aren’t there.
- Even when another Christian is in the flesh and they have done you wrong, you have forgotten that everything that comes into your life has passed through God’s hands first, and He works all things together for your good.
- Oftentimes you’re just too sensitive. The world doesn’t revolve around you and your feelings. This is true for all of us. Remember: To follow Christ is to pick up your cross . . . daily. When we’re easily offended, there’s too much of us that’s alive.
- The Lord is teaching you to live above offense. He’s trying to teach you to love in the face of mistreatment.
- Consider the times you’ve offended others. Then pause and re-consider that thing that you’re so offended about. “In His light we shall see light.”
- You serve a Lord who was tortured, beaten, and killed in the most gruesome way known to mankind. Have you had blood squirting from your wrists? Has your back been bloodied to where there’s little flesh left? Has someone driven nails into your wrists and feet? In light of those questions, do you really have *a right* to be offended by someone?
I have no particular reason for writing this. I simply woke up with it on my heart. So I am believing it’s for someone reading it out there in cyberland. I hope you’re not offended by it.
🙂
Also: I have a very small (and perhaps unfounded) fear that someone is going to take the above out of context and use it to continue to abuse his or her victim. (“See, you’re not supposed to be offended, so I can continue to make life miserable for you, and you just need to take it.”)
Excuse me [cough], but if that’s you, you’d do well to get your head examined. This post is written to the believer who may take offense at something. It’s not written to those who seek to offend others or who don’t care when they do. I’ll have more to say about this subject in the future.
One Man’s Journey Into Discovering God’s Purpose
In the NIV, Romans 8:28 reads, “… in all things God works for the good of those who love him …”
I’m told reliably that this is closer to the original Greek, for what it’s worth.
An uncomfortable incident happened just a few days ago so I found myself looking back at what you had written about this. First I was offended and then I offended back. Terrible! Now I’m left to work it out. God is full of grace and truth and reprimands us lightly, unlike us humans who like to be vindicated and give it back doubly. It happens to all of us; we are too full of ourselves and often don’t behave as one of God’s children. It’s amazing though how He uses it for our growth as He is with me right now. Painful stuff but good for us in the end. We need good mentors; this is so important for leadership to understand. We are watching.
Thank you for sharing this brother! I really appreciate your sharing in this way (via blogging). There have been times when I have been seeking the Lord in specific matters or when I just need some encouragement and one of your blog titles I’ve seen or blogs I’ve read comes to my mind and being able to still access them has brought much light and life to the matter. Thank you again for the time invested in sharing —it is surely not in vain!!
Great word. I agree and appreciate how you stated, “You are usually offended when you are thinking the worst about someone’s motives and thinking that they were wishing you ill. In other words, you are judging the intents of their heart”
In my pre-marital counseling sessions we’ve discussed something similar. Great heart check!
I love how you explain living without offense. It has caused me to realize how much I need Christ.
Love always.
Steve: Good question.
First, to say that Jesus only had in mind in that word the specific, particular situation of John is, I think, to miss the broader principle of what He was saying. His word applies to John’s situation as well as to every other situation where God doesn’t meet our expectations. Thus that word lives on timelessly and is profoundly pertinent for every person, especially His children when God or humans don’t meet our expectations. (Because God is absolutely sovereign, I cannot right get offended at Him if someone does something to hurt me.)
Second, taking offense doesn’t mean disagreement. Nor does it mean standing up for God’s will in the midst of pain inflicted on others. It’s much more personal than that. I think that’s how you’re defining it here. Hope that helps.
Good dialogue!
I agree, there is a timeless principal beyond John’s circumstance. We are blessed if we can get beyond being offended by God over the circumstances of our lives, over which He is sovereign. Even if they are terrible.
At the same time, man’s inhumanity to man is a case to look at. I would say what Satan means for evil, God uses for good. God may not always design the inhumanity or the means, and in fact will judge those who inflict such things; but God uses these things for good. In this sense, I could see a rape victim offended by a rapist but not offended by God. I could see a husband offended by a sexually inappropriate comment given to his wife but not offended by God. And I could see a Jewish background believer and their friends offended at other Christians that stereotype Jews as money greedy swindlers, but yet who are not mad at God over having to deal with such lunacy. Perhaps the offense to which I speak is not the offense in the sense Jesus is using the word.
Perhaps this is just semantics. But great dialogue!
Being offended implies resentment and anger wherein a person holds a grudge and seeks retaliation (passive or active). If someone loves, they may be hurt, but not offended. Jesus wasn’t offended by those who put Him to death. The servant isn’t greater than his Master. Christians, by and large, are overly sensitive and very easily offended. This is an observation that many people have made. I’ll speak more on the issue of taking offense when I resume blogging. There’s a lot of unclarity on this issue . . . as well as the issue of defending oneself. What it is and isn’t. Will speak on that too in the future, God willing.
If defining offense as above, than I wholeheartedly agree. I would not defend anyone holding a grudge, seeking retaliation, etc nor did I mean to in this blog. I had been defining it as being hurt, which turns out is not accurate. The dictionary is closer to your definition than simply being hurt. I have learned something!
As a Christ follower I am called to forgive, no matter the hurt. He first forgave me. End of story.
Thank you Frank I am writing from East Africa. Hope that the word goes down my pipe since I am feeling offense very very much that I sometimes wonder if I am a christian. Please talk about this many times since there are many believers that are being ruined by offense only offense. The Lord help us.
I have a few close Christian friends who are very chilled, we are “church” in that sense….apart from that I choose to spend more time with non christians for this very reason. They are so much more accepting and easier to get on with.
I no-longer attend A church, it just became too unbareable. Gods presence is nothing like what I see in church and He certainly has a sense of humour!
A thought on the question: Why?
Comfort breeds immaturity. The religious system keeps us in an environment that breeds comfort. Doing the “church” thing doesn’t demand that one grows up like close-knit community does.
So, when we’re offended, we have an easy way out to stay comfortable. We live far apart, we go to services with low interaction, and we can spend most of our time consuming goods and entertainment. This makes our Christian life incredibly easy while incredibly shallow, leading to physically old, spiritually young, immature people who are easily offended for silly reasons.
I’m dealing with 2 specific instances of sisters in Christ being horribly offended by…I don’t know what, some thing they thought I did or said. My husband and I have often been sad that God’s children are so easily offended, when we should be the least offendable people on the planet…but we have never put into words so succinctly WHY! Thank you. Can I print this out and share it with a few people? Lovingly?
This must be why we need the love that surpasses knowledge, the agape that can love in the midst of not knowing the whole story.
I am SO offended that you’d thank Rick Warren for ANYTHING! Don’t you know that he’s (fill in your epithet here)???
Only kidding. 🙂
That’s plain gospel truth, brother. That’s God’s love flowing through the lives of His people.
This is something I need to remind myself to consider every day. Great article.
Thank you for sharing this Frank! It convicted me and also brought comfort to me all at the same time. Convicted me not to think ill of another even when being abused by them. Comforted me to know that my suffering is for a purpose and those people are indeed wrong for their behaviors. The reason they do it does not matter, so why try to figure it out? Forgive, forget, move on.
So true this. My neighbor has kept me awake until 2 or 3 am every night for months. I have asked him to stop this but the noise goes on. What to do? Forgive him and bless him. There is no other way. Freedom in Jesus to forgive 7 x 77. God has used this to change me, to surrender to Him.
Sleepless in Brooklyn 🙂
Okay, I just started Twitter the other day, so I need some people to start following me if it’s gonna have any impact. haha.
And, yeah. Sometimes we carry baggage along with us and we just have to stop and pull over and think about what we’re saying and doing. Would the other person REALLY have the intent we think they have? I’m amazed sometimes by what other people think the other guy is thinking or feeling about them.
Frank, this is very timely and definitely from the Lord! As believers we should be very DIFFICULT to offend, believing the best of others. Thanks brother!
Yeah, my ex used to abuse me exactly that way. It’s a form of spiritual abuse as well as emotional. But the point is still well taken. There’s a serious character flaw in us if we are easily offended.
So glad you gave this word!
I have been waiting for something like this to come from a well-known Christian. I’m going to send this to my guys and let them take a gander at it.
Thank you also for warning those who might use this to abuse others. I agree with your sentiments in this area.