“The deceitfulness of the heart of man appears in no one thing so much as this of spiritual pride and self-righteousness.”
~ Jonathan Edwards
When the nativity story is told, we mostly hear about Mary, the mother of Jesus. For centuries, Mary has been extolled and honored, as she should be. Joseph, however, has often been regarded as a mere footnote to the story.
Today, I’d like to give Joseph his due.
By my lights, Joseph was one of the most righteous men who ever lived. Now when most modern Christians think of a “righteous man,” they think of things like being a good husband, a patient father, a trusted and successful employee who lives a good clean life (doesn’t “smoke, drink, chew or run with those who do,” as the old saying goes), and so on.
I have no doubts that Joseph was upright in the area of personal piety. But the Bible gives us a much deeper peek at what a righteous person is and how he or she reacts to certain situations. Consider Matthew 1:19-20:
Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to put her away quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.”
Matthew says that because Joseph was a righteous man, he chose not to publicly disgrace and shame Mary, even though (according to his knowledge at the time) she deserved it.
Wow!
Let that marinate a few moments.
How many Christians today would react the same way that Joseph did if they were standing in his shoes?
Joseph wasn’t out for blood. He didn’t justify in his mind the act of bringing public disgrace upon Mary. Instead, he took the high road and put her away privately, lest she face public humiliation and shame.
I’m sure Joseph’s blood boiled when he heard that the woman who was betrothed to him in marriage was pregnant . . . and not by him. But because he was a righteous man, he showed mercy. He treated her as if he were in her own shoes and was guilty of what he had assumed she did.
Perhaps Joseph thought to himself what his step-son would say to a woman worthy of death almost thirty years later, “He who has never sinned, let him cast the first stone” (John 8:7).
Perhaps after the initial anger, pain, and rage subsided, Joseph took a good, hard look at his own life and recalled the many times where he himself missed the mark.
Perhaps he reflected on his lineage and recalled the many grievous sins that his own kinfolk committed in the past (see Matthew 1:1-16; Joseph’s lineage is populated by those who committed murder, adultery, prostitution, etc. Beyond that, this is the very lineage that God the Father selected for His own Son, Jesus).
In Joseph, we find no self-righteousness at all. And therein do we find a wonderful definition of righteousness. It is to react like Jesus, living void of self-righteousness. As I’ve often said, there is only one Person in the universe who has the right to be self-righteous, and He isn’t.
Consider for a moment the people whom Jesus spent most of His time with, whom He ate with (which in that day was a sign of union, friendship, and acceptance), whom He showed mercy to, whom He extended grace to, and whom He removed shame from. These were the very people who the religious leaders of His day regarded as the most sinful. Their sinful deeds being at the top of their lists. This is why Jesus earned the title “the friend of sinners.”
Some specific examples:
- He broke bread in the home of a tax-collector who was siding with Rome in oppressing his own people (Zacchaeus).
- He completely forgave a woman caught in the act of adultery.
- He allowed a prostitute to anoint His feet with her hair in the presence of judgmental Pharisees.
- He communed with and later broke bread with a multiple-divorcee who was living in sin.
Granted, all of these people later repented of their sins and followed the Lord, but Jesus loved them, received them, and their sinful lives didn’t put Him off. The harshest word He said to any of them was “go and sin no more.”
Now . . . shift gears and look at the sins that literally made Jesus angry and provoked Him to issue hot-boiling, scathing rebukes. It was the sins of self-righteousness. And it was aimed at those who sought to shame and humiliate others because of their wrong-doing.
The pure and spotless Lord Jesus Christ turned the pyramid upside down.
Back to Joseph.
Note that Matthew says that while Joseph was considering doing this righteous deed (putting Mary away privately to spare her public disgrace), the angel appeared to him.
How many angels have passed us by because we chose to take the low road of shaming other people because of their sins or shortcomings, without any regard to our own sins and shortcomings?
(At this moment, someone reading that last line is thinking of Matthew 18:15ff. where Jesus says that a local assembly can excommunicate a person because of sin. But please consider two things about that passage. First, Jesus said to go to the person privately so as not to shame them, but to bring reconciliation in a private way. Second, the person in view had stubbornly refused to stop sinning after being approached multiple times in private. Only then was it to be “told to the assembly.”)
Joseph’s decision to take the high road and spare Mary public shame is echoed throughout the entire Scriptural narrative. Even beginning at the beginning in Genesis.
Remember Noah’s night of binge drinking? His son, Ham, uncovered his father’s nakedness. Shem and Japheth, on the other hand, walked into the tent backwards with a blanket, refusing to see the shame, but covering their father’s disgraceful state. Ham’s lineage was cursed as a result.
It’s hard on our flesh to walk into a tent backwards, holding a blanket. But that’s God’s way. It’s the way of righteousness.
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. (Prov. 17:9)
Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. (Prov. 10:12)
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (1 Pet. 4:8)
Jesus Christ, your Lord, is in the business of removing people’s shame.
Our Lord’s first miracle at Cana demonstrated His heart to remove public shame from a bridegroom who had miscalculated how much wine to provide for his wedding. Jesus remedied the situation by providing the best wine at the very end, covering the social disgrace that would have been leveled at the bridegroom’s feet because of his error.*
If you’ve done something in your past that you have repented of (ceased from practicing), but it still haunts you with regret, take heart. Peter, whose many sins grew in their severity until the most grievous of all—the betrayal of his Lord—was not only fully forgiven and restored by Jesus, but he was used mightily by the Master, even earning the title “the greatest apostle.” (See Remember Peter: Rethinking the Love of Christ.)
Echoing the promise of the New Covenant in Hebrews 8:12, A.W. Tozer rightly says, “When God forgives, He forgets.”
Let us take our cue from God Himself.
I am blessed by Joseph. I am encouraged by Joseph. And I am challenged by Joseph. It’s no wonder that God picked him to be the father of Jesus. (Joseph was also from the line of David, fulfilling the prophecy of the Messiah’s lineage.)
This Christmas season, let’s remember Joseph. The Life that dwells in every Christian . . . the Life of Joseph’s step-son, Jesus the Christ . . . will always lead us to treat others the same way we would want to be treated if we were standing in their shoes. No one wishes to be shamed and disgraced if they’ve repented of wrong-doing. And self-righteousness is not in His nature.
*see Jesus Manifesto, p. 164 for the historical context.
Related:
Interview with Modern Reformation Magazine
What a loving tribute to Joseph! I really appreciate this. A few years ago, I read Ben Hur, by Lew Wallace. Such a lot of nonsense in that book. Not only were Mary and Jesus blond haired and blue eyed, but Joseph was a doddering old fool. It made me angry, it was so unfair. And I knew it wasn’t true. What made Mr. Wallace think that God would choose someone like that to be the earthly father to his only Son?
Outstanding! It is really hard to “be like Jesus.” Much of the time we followers are not following all that closely.
Excellent piece. Reminds of a phrase that was running round my head a few months back “it is better to be good than to be right”
Thank you Frank. I recently wrote a monologue from Joseph’s point of view and I wish I had been able to read this as I wrote it.
Riveting and penetrating! I was helped to receive mercy and find grace for timely help. This morning I woke up considering Matthew 18. I had to repent for being the slave who had all his debt cleared by the Master yet continued to choke and beat another slave that owed him. Joseph is an excellent pattern of forgiving from the heart. He didn’t ask questions or demand an explanation or apology, he just covered.
I just saw this post. THANK YOU, Frank, for sharing your thoughts about this often-ignored righteous man. I really appreciated reading this and being reminded of him. It’s funny…growing up Catholic, we actually heard about Joseph with frequency. He was always a part of the “holy family”, etc. As a non-Catholic, I rarely hear either Mary or Joseph really talked about…and Joseph the least of all. Yet, imagine what kind of people they must have been for Yahweh to entrust Yeshua to them. Should they be deified as in Catholicism? No. But let’s not ignore them, either!
Good post. I also think Joseph’s ‘righteousness’ was an
extension, not only of his own self-understanding of falleness, but
his ‘zeal’ for God. Even though he no doubt loved Mary very much,
his love for God was greater. Being ‘Righteous’ to Jews meant being
zealous for God’s law (ultimately God). We see two things happening
in the text. 1.) Joseph’s zeal to live by God’s law meant that he
had to divorce Mary because of her apparent unfaithfulness. 2.)
Joseph’s love for both God and Mary resulted in him showing intense
mercy towards her; even in spite of her infidelity. As the text
highlights, “Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did
not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to
divorce her quietly” (19). His love and devotion to God exceeded
his love and devotion to Mary, demonstrated in his decision to
divorce her (upholding the law). However, it was also his love and
devotion to God that shaped his response to do so quietly. What a
beautiful display of devotion to God’s law, mixed with mercy. Here
Joseph reflected his God in a way most people would not. Law and
mercy.
Slav: I don’t follow Paul Washer and I doubt seriously that he reads my work.
Jim: thanks for your kind words and for noticing. I do appreciate that very much. Merry Christmas to you as well.
What a beautiful article. I just want to wish you a very merry Christmas, Frank and tell you how much I appreciate how accessible you are to your readers. I don’t know any author and speaker who is as available as you are.
either you’ve been inspired by Paul Washer or he was inspired by you, saying on Dec21 “Do you find yourself failing? Take heart, you are dearly loved. Return to Him. He will not cast you out!” – check his tweeter. But most probably is, that this is very true which has been revealed to both of you by Holy Spirit! Thank You for posting!
Thank you, Frank, for this post. It is very timely as a
dear brother of mine and my husband’s is being publicly defamed by
an authority figure in the church. This person continues to send
out emails that are aimed to destroy our friend’s reputation. It is
really ugly. His words betray the hatred in his heart. It is
unbelievable to me that church leaders can be so
self-righteous…but I guess it shouldn’t be since the same thing
happened to Jesus. I am hoping that by sending this leader the link
to your blog he will be convicted of the sin in his heart and
repent. Your description of Joseph was so beautiful. He truly
reflected the love of the Lord who said to the woman caught in
adultry, “go, sin no more.” And to those accusing her, “let the one
without sin cast the first stone.” Oh, what an amazing God we
serve! Thanks again, Karen
We don’t hear much about Joseph or his decision to show
kindness to Mary. Thanks for pointing it out.
Thank you so much for this. What an encouragement. I’ve been shamed by other Christians before. I don’t understand. Why do some Christians feel the need to shame and hurt others? why do some people who seem to love the Lord not care if they bring disgrace on their fellow brethren? why do some Christians feel the need to play God and take other people’s lives in their own hands and treat them badly? I hope this blog makes a change.
Candice: I’m so very sorry to hear about your pain. I do not know the answer to your question, honestly. I think it’s largely a matter of someone seeing their own sins as being less serious than that of others, and pushing their own standards (in theory not practice) onto others. So they are quick to play God in situations without thinking through or caring about how it will effect other people.
I love what Paul says: “let us no longer know one another after the flesh, but let us know each other after Christ” and “do not judge another Master’s servant.” May God comfort your heart and give you peace this Christmas season.
This was absolutely wonderful! The grace of God is so extensive and pervasive through our Lord Jesus Christ to us as needy human beings. Thanks so much for this piece!
Jon: Thanks for the kind words, bro. Coming from you that means so much!
Great perspective. I’ve never thought of it that way. I couldn’t imagine being the step father of Jesus!
Thanks 🙂
Magnificent post. Thank you Frank.
Gene, thank you for sharing your personal story [in brief]. It has helped me with a personal situation of my own that I have been struggling with far longer than I anticipated. I believe hearing this – in conjunction with the insight of Frank’s entry here – is really opening my eyes and heart to something I never considered. Thank you.
Awesome article! Really set me free in some areas. Found it from Len Sweet’s tweet this morning:
“Profound and probing meditation on Joseph from @FrankViola http://t.co/15U9JMf”
You both need to keep writing!
I cannot imagine being trusted with the responsibility given to Joseph. I wish we knew more about him and the years he spent with Jesus and Mary. But much is revealed of him in the little that we have.
In view of his mercy to Mary and Jesus’ mercy to the adultress woman, these verses come to mind:
11 For he who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law.
12 So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty.
13 For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
James 2:11-13
I have always loved Joseph for these very reasons. It takes a special man to raise a child that is not his own and make him/her his own in this life. I was raised by a step-father and he is my Dad in so many ways as if I came from him, but I did not. I love the movie the Nativity Story which explores Joseph’s “emotions” taking liberty with other aspects of the birth but holding as true as the authors knew how to do.
Yes Frank the “radical” nature of a life truly immersed in grace.
Frank,
Thanks for this great article. This has always caught my attention about Joseph as well. This example does bring conviction to me as I have not always responded this way in the past. Thanks for drawing this to our attention. As you always say, may the tribe of Joseph increase!
What an amazing post, Frank! This just oozes of the stuff I love. A little bit of history, a little bit of theology, and a whole lot of Christ and focusing on His love for us [all] – no.matter.what! 🙂 Praise God…He is so good!
Thank you for sharing such a relevant, and beautiful reminder for this time of year! I will cherish this entry for a long, long time! 🙂
Merry Christmas to you and your family, Frank!
thank you for this post.
Thank you for writing this. Love your ability to bring encouragement from overlooked Bible stories — tabernacle of David, Bethany, Samaritan woman, and now Joseph.
Merry Christmas
frank – love this. we have always pushed joe aside as some
“old man” – because we had no idea what to do with the human
step-father of jesus – great article.
What an awesome look at Joseph! You’ve put skin on him. I recently did the same with John the Baptist:
An important picture I will remember: walking backward with a blanket. God’s will for forgiveness and mercy is so clear in this teaching. I’m grateful I read it today.
The post also reminded me that I’d heard an unusual love song (from Mary to Joseph) in the early 90’s. His manly role in protecting her is expressed in it. (I am a fan of celtic music and of this group in particular, having attended a few of their concerts over the years. Anyway…) Here are the lyrics for those interested: http://www.goldenboughmusic.com/Paul/Songs/Dear%20Joseph.htm
A beautiful look at Joseph’s heart. You’re right, not a lot of people talk about him. We definitely have to give the guy credit for choosing not to shame Mary, for listening to the voice of God and for choosing to father a child who was not his own. That’s a good man.
I also liked your look at not uncovering others’ “nakedness”. Very true, and (as you said) very hard for our flesh NOT to do. Good reminder.