When I was a young Christian in my late teens, I was “rebuke-happy.” I had no problem confronting and correcting the faults of others. The people I looked up to modeled this to me, and I benightedly followed their example.
I knew the Scriptures well; so I was cocked and loaded for bear with my Bible verses in hand. Some of my favorite texts at the time were those in Proverbs that say wise people love reproof and fools hate it (Proverbs 9:8; 12:1; 13:1, etc.)
As I grew in the Lord, I came to some painful discoveries. One of them was that I had no idea how to correct another believer in the spirit of Jesus Christ. And I did more damage than good with my “corrections.”
Another was that God didn’t want me correcting everyone else, even when I spotted faults and flaws in others (which, by the way, is no great gift or something to boast about).
Adjusting the behavior of my brothers and sisters in Christ wasn’t my job or duty. And I needed to pay more attention to my own spiritual walk than that of others (James 4:11).
(In my early years as a believer, I was part of a Christian tradition that was trigger-happy to straighten everyone else out. It was bad teaching that bred legalism and self-righteousness. And I was guilty of embracing it.)
Still another lesson I learned was that in those times when the Lord actually wanted me to correct another person, if I didn’t deliver that correction in Christ, I would end up losing a friend.
An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars (Proverbs 18:19).
I wish back then that someone taught me what correction looks like when done in Christ.
Hence this post.
While this article is by no means an exhaustive treatment of the subject (it’s a blog post, not a book), here are 14 things that I learned about correcting another child of God.
Note that I’m not talking about reviewing someone’s writings or analyzing their teaching. Though this too should always been done in a spirit of grace and first offered to the author in question directly and privately before publishing a critique publicly. Intellectual integrity demands this to ensure that misrepresentations aren’t published and spread.
In this post, I’m rather focusing my attention narrowly on correcting a person’s flaws or actions. Here are 14 things to consider before you correct another Christian:
1. Never base your correction on second hand information. That is, what a person allegedly said or did. Always go to the person you are concerned about directly. Hearing one side of a story is a horrible basis upon which to correct someone. I’ve been guilty of this in the past.
2. Just because you see someone else’s faults doesn’t give you the right to point them out and correct them. The ability to spot the flaws of others is no gift. If you begin riding that horse hard, your card will eventually be pulled. Fault-finding is something that Scripture condemns (Jude 1:16).
3. There have been many Christians damaged because someone corrected them in a way that was contrary to Jesus Christ.
4. If you correct someone outside of grace, you will surely lose their friendship (Proverbs 18:19).
5. Your spiritual instincts will lead you on how to deal with an offense. One way is to bear the cross, be wronged, and forebear (Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 4:2; 1 Corinthians 6:7; Matthew 5:39). Another is to talk to the person privately and correct them in a spirit of meekness (Galatians 6:1; Matthew 18:16). Still another is to find a mediator to help you resolve the conflict (1 Corinthians 6:1-6)
6. Sometimes Christians correct others when they shouldn’t; other times they let serious problems go unchecked without bringing needed correction. Both mistakes can end up destroying others (1 Corinthians 5:1ff). For instance, if someone is hurting, oppressing, harassing, or misrepresenting another person(s), ignoring it is virtually always wrong.
7. If your brother or sister is doing something that just makes you feel uncomfortable (instead of actually hurting you or someone else), then you should think thrice about correcting them.
8. When correcting someone, go to them privately as Jesus taught us to do . . . “between you and him/her alone” (Matthew 18:15). This fulfills what Jesus taught us in Matthew 7:12. “Treat others the same way you want to be treated if you were standing in their shoes.” Going to others (beyond the person you are correcting) about the problem is only warranted if the person has rejected the correction and keeps on sinning (Matthew 18:16ff.) Or if they are sinning against others in a public way. For instance, if someone is misrepresenting another person in a public forum, then the person who is spreading the misinformation should be corrected in that public forum.
9. Ask yourself these questions before you correct another believer:
Is it my place to correct this person? Do I have a personal relationship with them? Or am I being a busybody in another person’s affairs? (1 Peter 4:15; 1 Timothy 5:13).
Have I forborne this problem for a long time? Has longsuffering and patience run its course?
Am I reacting out of pride, anger, or some other dark motive?
Have I agonized before the Lord, asking Him to remove the dark parts out of me before I talk to my sister or brother?
Has the spirit of self-righteousness and cruelty been extracted from my heart?
Have I prayed for this person, asking God to correct them Himself?
Have I gone to the cross before I pulled the trigger of correction?
And perhaps the most important of all: How would I want to be corrected if it were me who needed the correction?
If you cannot answer these questions with a “yes,” then you’re not yet qualified to correct your brother or sister.
10. Be keenly aware that you are just as fallen and deserving of judgment as the person you are correcting. The sin of self-righteousness is the result of regarding some sins (that of others) as being more serious than other sins (those of our own). Jesus equated anger with murder and lust with adultery (Matthew 5:21-22, 27-28), and James said that if you break one point of the Law you’re guilty of breaking every Law (James 2:10). That puts all of us on the same needy level. Be careful not to fall into what Philip Yancey painfully observed: “Christians get very angry toward other Christians who sin differently than they do.”
11. If you aren’t broken by the cross of Jesus Christ, the Bible can be an instrument of death in your hands. “The letter kills, but the Spirit gives life,” said Paul. Wielding the Bible with unbroken flesh is a dangerous thing.
12. If your correction of your brother or sister hurts them more than it hurts you, you probably haven’t corrected in Christ.
13. If you do not correct someone in gentleness and utter humility, there’s an excellent chance that you will fall into the same temptation or worse. Many years ago, I remember reading a book by Watchman Nee where he said that in his experience, any time a believer corrected another believer with a judgmental self-righteous attitude, that same believer who did the correcting later fell into something equally serious or worse. Paul said so much (1 Corinthians 10:12; Galatians 6:1), and I’ve watched it myself over the years.
14. In everything, be swift to hear the whole matter, slow to speak, slow to draw a conclusion, and slow to anger (James 1:19; Proverbs 18:13).
Again, an entire book can be written on this subject. These are just some lessons I’ve learned over the years. And I hope they encourage you.
May we as God’s people take higher ground when it comes to correcting the faults of our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Listen to the follow-up to this blog post – How Not to Receive Correction.
On Prizes
Thanks Frank, great post! How does this relate to correcting a church? I once heard you saying that you have never corrected a church and never will.
Thanks very much.
James, the same principles apply, but the one correcting should come from the person who works with the church and cares for her (not a visitor or a guest or a stranger or a disgruntled member).
I don’t ever recall saying I have “never” corrected a church, as a blanket statement. I’ve never corrected a church where I was a visitor or a guest. And I’ve never corrected a church *in the way that most Christians correct people* – meaning, harsh and self-righteously. I have also said that in most cases, I’ve presented Christ and the problems were resolved without even mentioning them. Paul corrected the churches he worked with at times, when it was needed.
Really great Frank. awesome. Thank you.
Hi Frank thanks for this blog as i did learn a lot of things also. I find asking Christ love and forgiveness into my heart is I find, the best way to go about correcting others. I know I have been self rightousness in my own spirit in the many years I have walked with Christ and have had to repent of this sin pride, when ever it arises.
By the way, I notice in your blogs you said this …..Has the spirit of self-righteousness and cruelty been extracted from my heart?
Just need to know, if what your saying here, that the spirit your referring to, is our own spirit and not some demonic spirit, that I hear in many Christian circles, who rather put the blame on the snake made me do it or something like that, rather then us being accountable for our own actions and blaming our selves? For me I strongly don’t believe in blaming the enemy for my sin pride actions, when I choose to follow my own desires, rather then Gods. I believe that The Lord ended all that crap for us at the cross and for us, who belong to The Lord now (we maybe in this world but not of it anymore), its up to us to come to the cross daily, after we first surrendered to Him. Our own spirit and soulist is all we are left with, for Christ to renew as we daily give up self centredness to become more Christ centred. I hope I am making sense here and you know where I am coming from Frank,
Wow wow wow!!!
I am guilty, just what the Holy Spirit ordered for me tonight.
Thank you Abba Father for using Frank to point out the above to me.
I have been correcting my brother all my life the wrong way.
Although done with good intention not always in love.
From now on I will rather shut-up and pray more
Thank you Frank.
Thank you for this Frank, I need to memorize this post.
Great advice! I had made a social media post that “When you attack another believer your are attacking Christ.” Reasoning that Christ asked Saul “Why do you persecute me?” When in reality Saul was persecuting the church or Body of Christ but Christ took it as persecuting Him. Someone took exception to that and commented that “the Bible is very clear that we are to ‘call people out’ on sin and ‘heretical teaching’.” That prompted me to start working on a blog post “How Should A Christian Address Another Person’s Sin.” Not quite finished but it includes some of your insight and the proper and improper way to address sin in other believers. I will definitely link back to your article! Thanks for all you do to help the Body of Christ.
Thanks for the insightful article. It encouraged me a lot.
Hi Frank, this is great thanks for sharing!
My first time reading it. Excellent points to consider. Relationships and even churches were divided with self righteousness and so called correction. Lord Jesus have mercy on us and thank you for your forgiveness. As pastor what responsibility to feed Jesus’s lambs, to tend to His sheep and to feed His sheep. Be blessed
Thanks, Frank, for this and the “correcting” article. I love your purpose of doing things according to the spirit of Jesus Christ. Jesus corrected His disciples – He, who is “gentle and humble of heart.” He corrects us still, and it’s always for our best.
Third reading. So well written. So important to remind myself. Appreciate it.
Great post, great points… every one of them. I made plenty of mistakes in pastoral ministry and tried to learn from them, but so many variables can exist. Points I’d emphasize especially are #7-14. On #1 & #5 even more strongly. Spiritual instincts need to be guided by God’s Spirit, and getting another unbiased view is always helpful.
I’ve seen (& tried to be) the Holy Spirit too many times. There needs to be a lot less of that all around or great price will be paid (#13).
Thanks Frank for the reminder of this blog. Most of my life I’ve been a peacemaker and usually bent over backwards to give someone grace and the benefit of the doubt on issues. I’ve also seen displayed in other, and you too, the principle of not defending oneself and leaving any defense to God and others whom God may raise up if needed.
Having gone through a recent season of having to deal with something like this, the encouragement of your words here are timely and appreciated. While it’s most often likely true that we’re many times too quick to speak and to correct others, there can come a time where we’re too slow and we must speak up or else we allow others in the body of Christ to be ravaged by wolves who need the rest of the body to stand up and speak what is true and right.
I haven’t figured it all out yet by any means, but I’m sure learning more about this lately.
Thanks for being a friend, an encourager and a brother.
bb
“If you do not correct someone in gentleness and utter humility, there’s an excellent chance that you will fall into the same temptation or worse. Many years ago, I remember reading a book by Watchman Nee where he said that in his experience, anytime a believer corrected another believer with a judgmental self-righteous attitude, that same believer who did the correcting later fell into something equally serious or worse. Paul said so much (1 Corinthians 10:12; Galatians 6:1), and I’ve watched it myself over the years”~ Frank Viola
We(I)need to move from ‘auto-correct’ to ‘outta-correct?’,
to ‘am I correct?’
A path well worn. This is great to ponder in the spirit. We all have areas of correction and desire love to cover a multitude of sins. Thank you for sharing this wisdom
Your reference to Jude 16. Will you please explain how this is referring to finding fault?. I have read this chapter over and over and I can not see the comparison to fault finding.
14 And Enoch, the seventh from Adam, also prophesied about these people, saying, “Behold, the Lord came with tens of thousands of his holy ones 15 to execute judgment against all, and to convict all the ungodly concerning all their ungodly deeds that they have committed in an ungodly way, and concerning all the harsh things that ungodly sinners have spoken against him. 16 These people are grumblers, discontented, proceeding according to their desires, and their mouths speaking pompous words, showing partiality to gain an advantage.
-Steve
“These men are grumblers and faultfinders; they follow their own evil desires …” Jude 16, NIV.
“These are grumblers, finding fault, following after their own lusts …” Jude 16, NASB.
You said that criticisms or corrections about someone’s writings should be done privately. Do you think that applies to blog posts such as this one or other online contexts like Facebook? It seems to me that if someone posts in a public forum where comments are enabled, it is safe to assume that the author is open and inviting criticism or opposing points of view. Just wondering what your opinion is on this.
I was referring to writing a review of someone’s book in public. This is standard etiquette, simply because misunderstandings and misrepresentations abound. A blog post that allows comments is a different matter because the author can respond in the comments section to the criticism or the push back. If someone posts something on their FB wall, comments are open so one can directly respond to them there or via a FB message.
Some authors don’t allow comments on their blogs and they are completely inaccessible to readers (the outstanding mark of a celebrity). This makes it hard to contact them at all.
The “rule of thumb” here is to treat others the same way that you want them to treat you in all things. I’ve never critiqued someone’s book without going to them directly first for that reason, just in case I may have misunderstood or unintentionally misrepresented them.
Frank, Thank you. Many of us have been hurt by our pastor who use his pulpit to hurt members who object to some of his unglodly. How do we approach him on this?
See the post on how to correct another believer in the archives.
Thank you. I have been struggling so much with how to deal with some pain – those questions in #9 have given me some high watermarks to pray towards and tangible goals to reach so I can finally address misbehavior in a brother the right way.
Thank you for this caring and challenging post. And thanks to everyone who has left responses.
I have realised that giving objective, uninterpreted feedback requires real skill. And hard work, just to prepare the information. None of this is to be taken lightly. You have broadened my understanding of this. We are not to shy away from giving criticism when it is due. But having made this decision, we are to follow a careful process of reflection and preparation as you suggest.
More often than not, I suspect, we will find that the criticism we felt was due, would be better left unsaid. As Mark pointed out, we will find ourselves saying less.
I really enjoyed this post. God bless!
interesting to see this right after correcting someone… it was a typo tho, part of what you qualify at the beginning. still, even correcting a typo should be done with this spirit. glad you wrote this.
Well said. Well written. Thanks Frank.
With the amount of shares this post got its clear that so many have need of hearing this or healing from this. This is a great one! I am constantly reminded of what you wrote about on “speaking the truth in love” to one another in ‘From Eternity to Here.’I have been guilty of not understanding the context of that verse before
wow! I must confess, this is one of the sins I am guilty of and lately I’ve been hearing God’s voice telling me something about this, now He delivered it loud and clearly. Thanks be to God!
If I could have ensured that every person or “party” to a conflict comes to a mediation with these thoughts in their hearts and spiritual practices, the mediation would be nearly complete. Numbers 9-12 are so crucial to being faithful to each other, in the literal sense of that root word. Our hearts need to be tender, open and humble to be reconciled, to be correctable, and to be corrected. Lord, have mercy on us, your too-proud children.
Thank you for posting this, Frank. If I may offer one more point from my training and work in Christian reconciliation – when we think we know that another has fallen, let us not imagine that we know the motives of their hearts, or intentions (“agenda”) behind actions. May our love be patient and kind, and may we allow the Holy Spirit to reveal our own hearts and others’ in God’s time, per Paul’s words in 1 Cor. 4:1-5. We trust the Lord!
Thx. I’ve written extensively on judging people’s motives on this blog, and I’ve also addressed it in the book, “Revise Us Again.”
This is good stuff. Although I’ll admit that my problem isn’t that I OVER-correct, but perhaps that I UNDER-correct (i.e., almost never). And I think there needs to be love that is willing to do both: be long-suffering and forbearing in the way of the Cross, but at the same time is willing to correct and restore a sibling in Christ out of genuine love and desire to see them grow.
Personally, I think there was a time when the stuff of this post was a lot more prophetic (not that it isn’t now). But I think we might also talk about times when love demands that we speak up. More often than not these days (at least in my community), I think we tend to err on staying mum – which overall might be better than the opposite, but when it is out of timidity rather than forbearance, ego-preserving rather than other-building…then something’s amiss.
In any case, I affirm these all. But just wanted to bring up the other half!
Yes, that’s addressed in #6. In my experience, the most blatant “under-correction” occurs when someone is misrepresented in public. I’ve only seen a handful of Christians who had the boldness, courage, and ability to articulate clearly to openly rebuke this sort of thing. Most are too timid and fearful to confront it.
Thank you for your personal insights. I have always loved Galatians 6 and want to follow that. I’ve noted that Priscilla and Aquilla dealt very wisely in dealing with Apollos in Acts 18. They could have acted rashly and pridefully and lost a wonderful gift and possibly those he influenced. They did not correct him publicly, but “took him aside and showed him the way of God more perfectly”. (I always appreciated their wisdom)
On the other hand, Paul corrected Peter openly in Galatians 2, on a major issue to the Church (Grace vs Law). Paul introduced the message of Grace and did not want the Church to fall back under the “yoke of bondage”. I realize that Paul must have had a Type A personality and had to repent after rebuking God’s High Priest (Acts 23:3) The other person can be wrong, but if our attitude is ungodly, we will do more harm than good.
yes, Peter’s error was done in public in full view of everyone so Paul corrected him in public. This is a lot like correcting public misrepresentation in a public way like the post talked about.
I really appreciated your post about correcting others. I have been guilty of doing it with the best intentions but remotely and in anger. I think every Christian has been guilty of correcting others in a nature that is not of Christ. Whether by good intentions, hurt, anger, because of theology, etc. It is simply the nature of the flesh. We need look no further than Job and his friends to see this.
The biggest key to this is first to become hidden in Christ. The old nature has to die. Once we become hidden in Christ we can give the needed correction from Christ. Avoidance is not always bad.
But theology lately teaches us that avoidance is bad since we are all “accountability partners.” Really starting to dislike this term. We are not our brother’s keepers but rather fellow encouragers towards dying and living in Christ. I am learning my tendency to avoid the person, hide in Christ, and then later gently explain is much, much better and much more what Christ wants of me.
Right. The NT never ascribes accountability to human beings. According to the NT, we are accountable to God alone. However, we are *mutually subject* to one another in so far as we are expressing the mind of God to one another. The difference between accountability and mutual subjection is a huge one (the idea that we are “accountable” to humans is built on bad theology and religious tradition). I explore this whole subject in detail in “Reimagining Church” – Part 2. Thx. so much for the comment.
I’m going to go re-read that part. Thank you!
Your question is couched in the framework of legalism. “Does one *have to* . . .” Moses gave Israel 613 laws. Paul was not creating a new law book in his letters. He instead was giving advice to God’s people in the city in Galatia who were going through a particular crisis and living in a particular context.
His exhortation applies today in all kinds of settings, but the Spirit must apply it to each situation. If taken as a law, trying to parse his words into a hard-fast rule, will land one away from the Spirit into the letter, which kills. I would suggest you read “Revise Us Again” which goes into how to approach the Scripture in a away intended, which is neither legalistic one the one hand nor libertine on the other. As Paul says, “letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.”
Remember, in some places in the NT, Jesus says don’t resist an evil person, but to suffer the evil, which means to let it go and pray for the person. In other places, Paul says to seek out arbitrators to decide on a matter of conflict. In still others, Jesus says to correct the person privately and then take others if they don’t repent. All are true, but the Spirit will lead depending on the situation. You can check out the book here. https://www.frankviola.org/books – thanks for the comment.
I was informed by somebody on facebook (who is now no longer a ‘friend’ there…I didn’t know them anywhere else) that they rebuked me constantly precisely because they loved me, and if they didn’t love me, they wouldn’t see the need to speak to me.
However, we had no relationship outside of their rebukes for me. this individual had many verses to back up all of his observations, and comes from a church background where, the most important thing about being in christ is, in the end, being right.
Which means, sadly, that articles like this, correct as they are, are likely only preaching to the choir…
Here’s what we know: This post is already getting a lot of traction and sharing (300 FB shares at the moment). This blog is read by many different kinds of people; over 40,000 unique visitors a month end up reading the posts. So I have no doubts that countless people who are “trigger-happy” to rebuke others (as I used to be) are and will read this. It’s the business of the Holy Spirit to change a human heart, even using something as frail and imperfect as a blog post like this one.
Frank, a lot of the cults have done damage by “correction” in front of others, humilating them and then disfellowship/excommunicate them. Also some fundamentalist denominations are guilty of this practice. I wish that their leaders would read this and spiritually be pricked by God for their arrogant attitudes. Thomas
Thank you frank,
I am guilty as charged. I have had this habit for too long, and it comes back to bite me more often than i can remember. I have been convicted by Romans, Galatians and the gospels.
May the Lord Jesus give us grace to live by the spirit so that we may not gratify the desires of the flesh.
In Christ Jesus,
Dave.
Hey Frank
Thank you for this post. I was also part of a ‘trigger-happy’ church like the one that you mention. Correcting people was expected of the leaders – we just called it rebuke. And as you rightly say it only breeds self-righteousness and legalism. The sad thing was that we used scripture to base this on. The top-down ‘authority/submission’ argument – where the ‘oil flows from Aaron’s beard’ downward etc etc. The main drive was to ‘win souls’ at any cost – even the cost of friendship. Although this was probably one of the toughest places that i had ever found myself in (on numerous levels), I would never had understood the beautiful liberating power of simple grace if I had not seen the dark side of institutional church. Your books helped me tremendously on this journey.
Thank you for writing.
Thank you!!!!!!! So incredibly helpful!! You are a good man!!
Glad you like the post. There’s only one Person who is Good. Sometimes He rubs off on all of us.
A couple of years ago I challenged myself to go one week without saying anything negative or critical to anyone. If I felt like there was something that needed correction, I would not say anythying until I could think of a more positive way to bring it up. I learned a couple of things: 1) I spoke much less during that week ;-), and 2) I found that asking clarifying questions about something BEFORE criticizing or correcting led to constructive and edifying conversation where both sides shared and were understood. This eliminated the need for correction and both sides were enlightened.
If I couldn’t figure out a way to offer my thoughts without sounding critical, then I just stayed silent about it.
Of course, I’m mainly thinking of day to day things that I tended to be critical about with others. Major issues still need to be dealt with (hopefully in the spirit of this article).
This experiment opened my eyes to how I had been communicating to others and over-correcting them. I learned that there is often a better course than correcting others: seeking first to understand better, letting it go completely, or offering correction when unavoidable with love and compassion (Col 3:12-15).
Great directives and thoughts brother. I am still on the path of learning in this realm!
Yes! I just wrote a post about how our first reaction to someone that is struggling or hurting should be comfort, not judgment and correction. Your post fits right in with that.
I think a huge discrepancy we have is when we look at a situation from our own views and convictions and not about what is best for that person and how God wants to deal with it.
Very well said Frank and so true! I can relate to your experience almost word for word. I walked that path and have come to very similar conclusions. May give us grace, courage and love when offering correction and guidance to our brothers and sisters, remembering who’s servants they really are.
Great post, especially in connection with the one you wrote recently about getting offended and staying offended. It is so important to keep all this in mind especially nowadays when friendships among believers seem to be falling apart left and right because of this spirit of critisism.
Timely reminders. Nice list that covers it pretty well!
Frank, great post. I like that you distinguish between misrepresenting someone and properly critiquing their work. An accurate critique of a teaching is fine but misrepresenging someones work and criticizing it is known as straw man logic and it’s always wrong.
This is excellent, Frank!
Frank,
I have seen that if we are not taken into the heart of humbleness in Christ regarding the failure or faults of others, then we should take great pause, because either there is a resentment born out of a hurtful experience with another, or the fault is unknowingly recognized as our own. And the frustration of our own faults can lead to the destructive treatment of others. What we most often refuse to see in ourselves is that which most irrigates us when we see it in others. And if we are busy focusing on the imperfections of others, then we do not have look upon our own imperfections. The answer, of course, is to look upon Christ, not ourselves, nor others. How magnificent that Christ is always the answer.
Another point comes to mind. As to the use of the public forum to engage in scoffing misrepresentations of another, I have come to see that it is the very person himself/herself that is almost always guilty of what they are proclaiming as wrongful in the one(s) who are the object of the scoffing and/or misrepresentations. I see this also by the mere use of the words that are written. It is not some obscure code, but a normative overuse of words which include the “I,” and the “me,” and the “they/he,” and the “them,” and is usually accompanied by a resounding tone of prideful boasting. Let us not be unaware of these expressions which tell us more than the messenger intends.
Kat
Great point. Yes, misrepresentation is very often a case of someone reading into and projecting onto others what’s inside their own heart.
Kat and Frank, I totally agree. When someone has a contribution to make in the body, and it comes from the Spirit, he will make that contribution in a way that builds up the body…without attacking others. It won’t be about “self” or others at all, but about Christ–the heart of Christ, the mind of Christ, the ways of Christ. Today’s post is directed toward exactly that sort of edification; well done, Frank! And Kat, your comment, as always, reflects the deep connection you maintain with Christ as the source and the reason for our existence. Thank you both for spreading the aroma of Christ.
Thanks for this thought-provoking summary worth rereading and frequent meditation. Would like to read more, is there a book you’d recommend?
Frank, it’s a blog post, not a book — but it’s definitely enough to convict. I have been on the giving and the receiving end of the wrong sort of correction, and the damage I both caused and incurred…well, “the angels weep,” if I may use poetic license!
You remind me of a quote I read once: “Criticizing another person says less about that person and more about your need to be critical” (author unknown). I especially appreciate the question you list under #9. Thank you. : )
Oh this is so good. I know what it is to sit down and correct. It hurts. Flat on your face on the bathroom floor kinda hurt. When you sit down even with the Holy Spirit’s leading to correct be prepared because He will show you all the things you need corrected too. So if you are confronting someone in their sin – be prepared to have all the same things you do shown (like in a mirror) right back at you.
Recently I received a “loving chastisement” from a FB friend – someone in my past not my present about what I write regarding the church. I just loved the bullet point instructions on how I need to be doing and seeing things differently.
So I’m going to add a #15 in the age of FB and twitter – don’t correct your long lost cousin who is now openly gay… on FB. Don’t correct your college roommate who you haven’t seen in over a decade because they don’t go to church… on FB. Don’t correct on FB. Get real.
Yes, yes, yes! Facebook isn’t the place to correct someone. I’ve seen so many Christians damage others by doing this. Stupid, stupid, and not sensitive at all. I think the exception is if someone is being misrepresnted on it like you said.
I was one of those especially stupid ones on facebook correcting and debating everyone.
We’ve been taught to love the sinner and hate the sin. I love Tony Campolo’s version: Love the sinner, hate your own sin.
I love it!
PS: Did anyone suggest tony as a CO-host…..He is provocative.
This is rich brother. Thank you for getting me off to a great start this week!!!!
Great Post Frank! I especially liked #14. Thanks for sharing!
This is really good. I especially appreciate point 10. It’s so easy for us to to see certain sins as more severe when the New Testament explicitly says that if you’ve failed in one area of the law you’ve failed in it all. None are righteous except Christ.
Great blog, confirms teachings I have received and found profitable. I think we forget the object of correction is to restore the person in love. The old saying that the Christian army is the only one that shoots it’s wounded is too true in many cases and if we prayed diligently for each other when we “notice” these things, how much we would all be changed.
I have seen this work many times in my life and I would much rather spend time on my knees for folks that putting my fat little finger in their face.
Thanks for being faithful Frank. “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”
So needed to read this…and again…and again. Why is this such an easy thing for some to do. I want to be more like Jesus!
Jesus said that we would be known as His followers by the love we have for one another. Let love be our motivation in all we do, not getting at each other, or putting each other down. I heard a quote a while back “If you don’t move in love, you do not move with Dove”. Let the Holy Spirit be our guide and let our motivation always be to encourage and built up, not to destroy and put down. Speaking the truth always….in love!
Thank you for posting this! I can say that I have been guilty of this and have had this done to me.
I have heard people say to me, “don’t get offended”. When I have been confronted about something and appreciate you putting in that verse about an offended man being hard to win back. Offence is not something that you want to wear, but something that takes time to pull down once it is erected.
Very well said. I appreciate getting these kind of thoughts thru my email.
Excellent piece – timely and well written. Thanks