There are two ways to respond to rejection. One is to react in the flesh and become bitter and angry and to retaliate against those who have hurt us. The other is to react in the Spirit, which is the way Jesus responded to those who rejected Him.
To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth. When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. ~ Peter
Jesus Christ refused to allow bitterness to take root in His heart. After standing under a hail of criticism from the Jews, the Lord stood before Pilate and was silent. When the Romans pierced His hands with six-inch nails, He prayed that God would forgive them. And when He rose again from the dead, He wasn’t spewing venom over those who crucified Him. Jesus didn’t seek vengeance against those who misunderstood Him, nor did He justify Himself, setting the record straight in light of the lies that were told about Him.
While the death of Jesus is immortal, the unjust and indescribable pain that He suffered at the hands of sinful men was not upon His lips when He broke free from the grave. No, He was utterly silent about the entire ordeal. He acted as though it never happened.
Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. ~ Paul
Many Christians cannot get over rejection, let alone misunderstanding. And that is why there is no resurrection in their lives. In our own natural power, we are incapable of responding to pain the way Jesus did. But the good news of the gospel is that He lives inside of us, giving us both the power and the will to do His good pleasure.
The secret is in letting go.
Chesterton rightly said, “One sees great things from the valley; only small things from the peak.”
A disciple in the school of Christ often learns more by suffering than by studying. Spiritual growth picks up its pace whenever you’re looking down from a cross, and brokenness is a prerequisite for usefulness.
If you are a Christian, then, expect to follow in the footsteps of your Lord. You will know the scalding pain and heartbreaking disillusionment of rejection.
How you respond, however, will determine if you become broken or bitter.
If you view such things from a natural plane, you may get so depressed that your eyes cross, feeling that you have to climb up just to reach the bottom. These are the typical emotions that provoke grudges.
Someone once said that you don’t hold a grudge. It holds you. Holding a grudge is self-inflicted pain. Consequently, bitterness doesn’t imprison those who hurt you. It imprisons you.
Again, we do not have the strength to forgive others who wound us. But we have One who indwells us whose name is Forgiveness. And He is able and willing to forgive through us, releasing us and others.
You’d be wise, therefore, to seek to get behind the eyes of our Lord and see things from His vantage point. You have a God who knows what it feels like to be rejected. But He also knows the preciousness of having a Bethany. A place where He is completely received, honored, and appreciated.
That is the subject of our next chapter …
This post is an excerpt from my new book, God’s Favorite Place on Earth (David C. Cook, 2013).
5 Reasons to Unfriend Someone on Facebook
It was February 1995 and I was waking from my sleep and I heard, out loud “React/Respond.” I thought it odd and drifted back off to sleep. This happened 2 more times before I finally awoke. I knew it was supernatural and I sought the Lord. I had been enduring about 6 months of false accusations and persecution from the church I was attending. The Lord had been giving to me prophetic dreams and visions in the midst of this my “fellowship of His sufferings.” What the Lord revealed to me at that time was, when I “react” to the rejection, accusations, persecutions; I am demonstrating that I am in waring in my flesh, but when I “respond” to the same it is Christ, His life in me. I wish I could say that the time period was short lived but it was 5 years and many apologies later from those that hurt me. But the truth is, I did enjoy the fellowship of His suffering and now rejoice in the power of His resurrected life lived out in me. Thanks for bringing this ebenezer experience back to my remembrance.
Jesus faced it in the cup. He endured, taking the brunt-forces of the winds of opposition. We stand in His wake. It helps to know not only that He has withstood it, but His children ever since.
Well spoken, well-timed. Thank you Frank.
“Someone once said that you don’t hold a grudge. It holds you.”
I love this saying! It is absolutely true. I’ve had trouble in the past letting go of things and forgiving people. I’m happy to say that I’ve made great strides in the past couple of years. Can’t wait to check out your book.
Like the way you omit chapter and verses from the scriptural quotations. Just as it was done in the holy writings. It’s kind of refreshing.
Thx. They are present in the book version.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, particularly when Jesus confronted wrongdoing or wrong thinking. He actually did stand up to folks, but their rejection of Him didn’t put Him in a funk. That’s where I fail, I believe. I have to remember that sometimes when folks reject my message, they are rejecting Jesus within me. And when they do that, I am happiest when I equate my worth with Jesus’ affection for me rather than another’s rejection of me.
Right on. Defending others and defending oneself are two very different things. The first is costly; the other is what the flesh seeks. Entering into the fellowship of His sufferings is indeed a missing note today. In fact, there’s a vibe in Christianity today that rejects it all together. Great point about where our worth must be rooted.
A lie has speed but truth has endurance.
Edgar J. Mohn
Thnx! The timing is great since I have reread The release of the Spirit and I am reflecting on the major breakings of my outer man at the hands of deeply loved brothers and sisters unjust criticism and ultimate rejection since the first time I read it. First off although it was excruciatingly painful I can now see the love God forged in me through those circumstances and I am not sure that would of happened if I didn’t resist the temptation to fight argue and defend myself. I now know more intimately what ” forgive them Father because they know not what they do” means. I must confess that it wasn’t my heart to deal with the situations in this way but did it because I knew it was as He wanted me to. But now it is almost my default mode and my desire. I also must say that I have learned that when He is my great reward and the one I draw my satisfaction from people don’t disappoint me. My expectations have been adjusted since I have allowed myself to share in His sufferings.
Beautifully written, and perfect timing. Thank you!
I find that rejection of Christ on my life doesn’t actually touch me, however rejection of me is an opportunity to see where I don’t line up with Jesus’ life and victory.
Like what Renee commented, it’s perfect timing. Thanks Frank
I’m sure you’ve noticed that nothing ticks a person off more than when someone they’ve rejected does not respond with disapproval. Jesus moved on quietly in cases like this because He was truth; He knew the truth about man and was not intimidated or surprised by anything man would do to Him. I think when we represent Christ we’d better know who we are as Christians or we will succumb to the constant harassment. I also think the power to stand comes with maturity. When I was younger in Christ, rejection came harder because I was still trying to prove myself. When we have nothing to prove, we have nothing to defend.
I’m always smiling when I read your posts. It’s a reminder to behave in a Christ-like manner throughout the day. Thanks for your example.
I am truly blessed by this message today. Your work is very good and has been indeed very freeing. Godspeed.
Have been truly blessed by “God’s favorite place on earth” and thanks for the bonus books. In regards to this post, was just reading T. Austin Sparks and as to rejection and disappointment, always remember…. “God has the final say”.
Nice timing. Thanks. : )