“Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods. Certainly to me it is the chief happiness in life.”
~ C.S. Lewis
The 99th episode of the “Christ is All” podcast. The topic — 7 Ways to Destroy a Friendship.
Frank Viola | Beyond Evangelical
Official Blog of Author & Speaker Frank Viola. Digging below the surface and moving beyond the shallows in today's Christianity.
7 Ways to Destroy a Friendship
Your Dreams and Aspirations
Frank,
Just finished JESUS NOW and absolutely loved it! Will be getting copies for friends. It’s a powerfully important book. I find it really odd that I had not given such in-depth thought as to what Jesus is doing now. I mean, I had certainly thought about Jesus leaving the Holy Spirit in us for power, guidance, giftedness, etc….and I had thought about Him as my intercessor, but you put His present-day ministry together in a new way for me, and it’s all backed by tons of Scripture. And I loved how you described how the organic church’s leaders rise up naturally when the Holy Spirit is given the authority, time and space to grow up leaders nationally. Thanks for all that you do to the body of Christ’s kingdom movement. God’s blessings onto you, Frank ~Gaynor
Great list, and all very true.
I’d add a #8 and #9 as well…they sort of go together:
8) Be unwilling to do uncomfortable things like address frustrations in your friendship, and let those grow into bitterness, resentment or contempt instead.
9) Refuse to act (or seriously delay) when the Lord prompts that your friend needs a loving word of spiritual correction, because it’s too uncomfortable, or they might not react well, etc. (So allow your friend to remain in their confusion, sin, etc which they are currently blind to. Avoid them because of their “issue”.)
I unfortunately have been at the receiving end of both of these.
Thank you for sharing these things. What seems like common sense sometimes gets lost when emotions are heavily involved. In terms of not imputing bad motives, you mentioned jealousy being a reason why some people attack others. If I’m hearing you correctly, if you suspect this you should ask the person, right? What if they deny it but it seems obvious to others? Also what if there are patterns in a person’s behavior? Sometimes though I don’t know for sure their motives and they deny it, because of the patterns I’ m suspicious and cautious. What are your thoughts?
My thought is never to impute a motive to a specific person. Some people have confessed to jealousy and it was THE main motive for the attacks against Jesus and Paul. It’s also what caused the first murder in the Bible. See https://www.frankviola.org/2013/05/22/jealousy – you are right, common sense and wisdom go out the window when someone allows themselves to be governed by emotion. I think it’s unwise to ask a person if they are jealous of you. But to ask them what their problem is with you or why they are doing xyz is wiser. Many people don’t admit to what’s fueling their aggression, especially if they are in the flesh.
Great thoughts.
And many don’t even realize what the source of their aggression is.