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Frank Viola | Beyond Evangelical
Official Blog of Author & Speaker Frank Viola. Digging below the surface and moving beyond the shallows in today's Christianity.
5 Reasons Why People Leave Their Church
The Insurgency Began & You Missed It
I am contemplating leaving my church of 9 years from burn out. I am on several ministries and my husband and I are so busy behind the scenes that we are not being fed spritually. Church feels like a job. I am finding that many do not respect your boundaries when it comes to ministry and utilize guilt to impose what they want you to do. My Husband (who is a Deacon) received a call from the Pastor asking why he was working for his employer on Saturday while a Deacon’s meeting was in session. When my Husband advised I was there via speaker phone because I was required to come to work by my supervisor the Pastor replied: ‘well you have you’re priorities mixed up, God’s business is first’.
I moved to a new state 11 years ago, joined a church, and have stayed there this whole time. But I’m thinking of leaving…because so many others have. When I started there, it was a small church but excited about God and reaching out to others (by building relationships, through service, and meeting needs in our community). We had active small groups that really dug into the Bible. Somehow, though, things changed. Families with small children left for churches with more entertainment…er, options…for their kids. Our program leaders moved to other churches who asked their help to “ignite” their churches, and now… Well, we have good sermons, unexcited listening to Christian songs (termed “worship”), no small groups, and little outreach. I only really know about 10 people there. I’m staying more out of what it was and what I hope it might be again, but I have little hope. Somehow we lost our first love and are just going through the motions.
The main reason, which you have not mentioned, is because the wrong Gospel is preached i.e. not the Gospel of grace (Apostle Paul’s gospel – the Final Gospel) which is the Gospel to the Christians but a mixture of Gospels from Old Testament and from the synoptic gospels Matthew, Mark and Luke. The Church today is a business and every denomination (400+ man made) says they’re right you must join their church and get with their program.
Paul: “Wrong gospel preached” is under the heading of “unbiblical” which is in the list. However, MOST Christians don’t leave their church because of this. Most have no problem with the same person preaching a sermon every Sunday, so they drift to another church to hear sermons they like. Many, however, believe that the very act of having a person preach sermons every time the church gathers is itself unbiblical based on the New Testament. And that number is growing.
Great information on all 5 reasons Frank. As far as reason 2 “No Community” what are your thoughts on how online social media platforms either aid or hurt church members in developing stronger relationship? I’ve noticed the more introverted members in my church are more vocal and engaging online than in person. I can see how social media platforms could allow many too shy or scared a way to break the ice if you will. Was curious on your thoughts in this area.
In cases where it replaces face-to-face relationships, it’s not a good thing.
I too have heard many of the same reasons why people leave a church. But how about the other side of the coin, why do people stay in their church? I’d like to hear your thoughts.
I don’t think the topic is worthy of a post. A comment will suffice. There are different reasons. Some stay in a particular local church because they love it, because they feel God wants them there, because they are finding Christ there and growing, because the church is centered on Christ and God’s Eternal Purpose and they are devoted to her (the particular local ekklesia they gather with).
In cases where they would like to leave, others stay for friends. Others stay out of guilt, meaning, they want to leave but feel if they do, God won’t be happy with them, etc.
What I find interesting about the reasons why people leave the typical institutional church is that most pastors won’t change anything about the program – except for minor tweaks here and there – even though they are losing people all the time. Tradition is a very powerful thing.
Dear Frank, It seems to me that churches here where I live are either hyper charismatic or the extreme opposite, I often wonder why there are none “in the middle”. So where to go – I seem to be a total misfit. I have spent years on both sides of the fence but am going nowhere at the moment. I do so want to be part of the body.
Needed this today…