While I’m not a fan of Facebook groups, I do enjoy connecting with people on my Facebook page.
However, from time to time, I’ll look at some of the news feeds of my friends. And I’ll see some of them getting roped into full-blown doctrinal beat downs on their walls.
In like manner, I’ve been pulled into countless Facebook groups – meaning, people “joined” me.
I don’t follow these groups and rarely make a comment.
However, once in a while I’ll get tagged, so I end up looking at the thread.
For the last 7 years, I’ve been observing these groups. And I’ve lost count of the knock-down, drag-out, WWE-styled smackdowns over biblical topics and social issues.
The people go back and forth, some ending up being so infuriated that they end up blocking their debating opponents.
In addition, some of the befuddled contentious souls are routinely banned from these groups.
(Oh, these are all “Christian” groups, mind you. Ahem … )
Not once during these blood-lettings have I ever seen anyone change their minds.
Lots of wasted time and energy is burned up in these threads. And for that reason, people leave them constantly.
Why, then, do people continue to argue and exchange theological (and personal) blows on Facebook?
These are the thoughts that have gone through my mind whenever I’ve observed these things:
“Has it not dawned on them that their comments are not making a dent in the minds of others?”
“Do they have too much time on their hands, so debating and angering people is a pleasant hobby for them?”
“Do they have a lot of pent up frustration that they are unwittingly unleashing on the poor souls who are part of these groups?”
“Have they still not discovered the other means that actually impact people and change hearts and minds?”
Now, I’m sure there may be a few exceptions to the above. (In life, there are always the .001% exceptions.)
Typically, authors who have loyal followings don’t have this problem too often, and Facebook groups that are tiny don’t either.
But for the rest, it’s pretty much the norm.
Surprisingly, shortly after I wrote the draft for this chapter, one of my Facebook friends made this comment on his wall:
“Facebook is not a place for intelligent dialogue. I have learned very few people can have a rational discussion about just about anything. I look, but have learned to refrain from engaging current political, religious or cultural topics. The vast majority of people already have their minds made up on a given issue and viewpoint. Facebook is merely a place they use to reinforce that viewpoint and anything challenging them is viciously attacked.”
Interesting, eh?
My point is simple.
Facebook isn’t the best place to change people’s minds.
It’s a great way to keep up with old friends or — if you’re a writer of any kind — to connect with your readers.
But in terms of real impact and changing people’s minds, there are far more effective ways of doing both.
P.S. The bloodbaths we routinely see on social media when Christians unsheathe their swords against one another over doctrinal or political disagreements provoked me to write the book ReGrace: What the Shocking Beliefs of the Great Christians Can Teach Us Today.
Hacking the Victorious Christian Life
I disagree with your comment, and I’d like to invite you to a Facebook forum to debate the issue. 🙂
I’m just being ironic. I do think it can be helpful to discuss issues on Facebook. People online seem to be less ‘people pleasers’ online and are more inclined to disagree with others than in face-to-face conversation. But I have known someone to changes his mind after Facebook conversations. A couple of cases come to mind. Both conversations were civil, not ending in someone being banned, though in one conversation parties strongly disagreed. So it can be persuasive. But usually no immediate results are apparent.
More civil, laid back discussion seems to work better with most people for online discussion. I’ve seen few forums on these hot topics that have that tone. And people seem to know each other, even if it’s online, and have some sense of relationship with each other when this happens.
You are right, Link. There are exceptions. Thanks for highlighting that point. Appreciate the humor at the front too. 😉
Been there,done that too with the silly arguments with Christians I have never met in real life. I used to think similar thoughts as to why this was happening as the ones you have stated in this blog….. Until just recently.
I got into a discussion with a dear brother in Christ on Facebook, who I know well and fellowship with fairly regularly. He really is very easy to get on with, but still the discussion decended quickly into a frustrated and rather bitter disagreement. (We’ve since met up in the real world and all is fine).
The point is, this has forced me to believe there is something else going on. Here are my thoughts so far…..
Perhaps the people who seem to be highly unreasonable and argumentative (including ourselves if we choose to engage) are really, simply misunderstood. Perhaps it’s the keyboard which is an insufficient means of communication. I say this because words are only one part of how we communicate. In the real world there is also tone and inclination of voice, facial expression, eye contact, body posture, etc. All of which cannot be conveyed through the keyboard interface and can cause a great deal of frustration when the other person just doesn’t “get it”. This works both ways,of course, which only works to amplify the frustration and misunderstanding.
So, rather than the truth being that all these people have nothing better to do than vent anger and bitterness over their pet doctrine or viewpoint, perhaps they, like me innocently begin to engage in a discussion on a topic that interests them and end up inadvertantly stepping on toes due to the deceptively insufficient mode of communication.
I hope i communicated that sufficiently…. Any thoughts?
Frank, I do agree. I have been sucked into a few of these disagreements publicly, and though at first I thought there could be a good resolution to it, in the end it just was a terrible testimony and it was just a way for someone to expose others to their hurtful opinions. Even on blogs heated debates can happen. The social revolution of everyone has an opinion to share it terrible. We need to be more wise when we share publicly if it really is edifying, encouraging and something worth while to share.
Good advice. When I have allowed myself to get sucked in to arguing on Facebook it doesn’t ever end well. And it’s the height of embarrassing to have family arguments in a public forum. Whether we are talking human family or spiritual family.
I try to follow the Lord though. I recently did respond after much prayer to a provocative comment from a friend on MY page. I felt I was supposed to this once both for the person’s sake (in case it was the .0001% chance) and for the other 3 people who follow me that I know actually listen to me 🙂 But also only since the comment was on my post, not his. I tried to be super gracious.
Occasionally a gracious interjection can diffuse a flame war.
Remember you control your page and posts, so you can delete comments and conversations or the whole post if they get out of hand.
And you can go delete your comments on other people’s posts as well and also apologize if necessary. Eating humble pie ourselves makes for a good example as well as saving relationships.
Great post! What are the effective ways of changing people’s minds? Don’t leave us hanging!
Happy to answer your question.
1) Start a blog *the right way* – there are countless bloggers, but few have invested in learning how to do it effectively to change people’s thinking on various subjects.
2) Write a book *the right way* and invest in learning how to promote it effectively – there are countless authors, but few have invested in learning how to write a book effectively and get other people to hear about it effectively.
Both are covered in detail by 9 people who have done it themselves here http://buzzseminar.com for those interested.
Those are the two venues that have worked for me and many others, but again, one must learn how to use those venues effectively. There’s a lot to learn on that score hence the link above.
This is exactly what I have noticed as well.
So true. Awesome post.
Facebook is great for some things, but not for changing people’s minds. And when we try to change people’s minds about something, it becomes a massive time sink and also causes a rise in blood pressure (at least for me!).
Only when we realize we cannot perform the work of the Holy Spirit, because we are not the Holy Spirit, our attitude and thinking change as well. We are here for God’s purpose only and not our own will. Even if we know the will of our Father we must allow Him to perform His will and not trying to “help” Him. Otherwise we create an Ishmael for ourselves, which will haunt us for the rest of our lives. We must allow Father to control our will mind and emotions because He then, will governs our behavior. This was a revelation for me, and Father used a fellow brother in the Lord Major Ian Thomas referred by Frank Viola, to open up this truth to me. Thank you Frank for introducing Ian Thomas to me. This is why “we” have the mind of Christ, not “me” as a lonely rider.