If you are a genuine follower of Jesus, you carry a message. (I’ve explored how to discover your unique message elsewhere.)
But know this – your message will never be received by everyone. Some people will dismiss both your message and you. (Others will attack you, but that’s another subject.)
Let me give you an inside look into one way this works.
One Christian author recently asked,
“I’ve been trying to build my email list for years, but I’m having trouble not feeling discouraged every time someone unsubscribes. Most of my subscribers love what I write, but apparently, not everyone does. How do you deal with this yourself?”
My answer: When I started my blog in 2008, I quickly realized that it wasn’t for the masses. If you try to write for everyone, you’re writing for no one.
My work is called “the deeper journey,” and the common thread that binds it all together is that I’m constantly challenging the status quo, pushing in new directions, addressing neglected or overlooked subjects, and seeking to magnify the Lord through all of it.
My message is for those who part of the present Insurgence that’s shaking up the Christian family today.
This makes peevish Christians livid and Christians who are content with shallow, “pop” Christianity shrug their shoulders with monumental disinterest.
It also makes professing Christians who are easily offended (a mark of spiritual immaturity) impute evil motives like “ego” and “self promotion” onto people they’ve never met just for making those who voluntarily signed up to their email lists aware of new resources.
(“Self promotion” and making email subscribers “aware” of resources are two radically different things. People willingly sign up to an email list in order to be notified about new resources.)
I am actually glad when people unsubscribe from my list because I’m not writing for them.
Put another way, I’m only writing for those who can’t do without our weekly articles because they find them to be a significant source of spiritual food, practical motivation, and valuable help.
My goal is to reach people who – like me – know in their bones that “there must be more” to the Christian faith than what they’ve been exposed to.
And they want to hear from me about these topics, whether through articles, books, podcasts, YouTube videos, or live events.
The vast majority of my readers know that both the Conservative Right and the Progressive Left are missing something significant about Jesus Christ and the kingdom of God.
Therefore, having people unsubscribe is actually a good thing, to my mind. Because those people were never meant to be consumers of my work. At least right now.
(Keep in mind that I’m not talking about those who’ve experienced a recent tragedy, and as a result, they’re unplugging from everything electronic, including email. Such cases are extremely sad, yet rare.)
Let me go further and pull back the curtain so you can see what some of my unsubscribers write us behind their computer screens. It baffles the mind how such hateful people get onto my email list in the first place.
Example 1: A recent example (rehearsed by me with minimal paraphrasing and an added dash of humor. But this is pretty much how it went down.)
Melvin Snurdly (name changed to protect the un-innocent):
“I’m a long-time subscriber and have read most everything Frank has written. I’m sorry I missed the deadline for the Titan when it was available at a discount last year. But I don’t want to miss having it now. Can you tell me how to order it? I live in [names country outside the USA].
Response from my assistant.
“I’m so sorry, Melvin. The Titan was available to all countries for six months last year. Frank announced it many times in his emails, so people wouldn’t forget. Unfortunately, we have a new shipper and they don’t ship outside the USA. If you can provide us with a USA address (perhaps of a friend or family member), we would be happy to ship it there.”
Melvin’s Response:
“This is the biggest scam I’ve ever seen! You are all the spawn of Satan. I’m highly offended that you won’t ship outside the USA. A pox on you all! I am unsubscribing from your email list and I will never read another book with Viola’s name on it again!”
Okay, so the response wasn’t quite that bad, but it was pretty close. Very close, actually.
Although Melvin may have read “most of my books” and although he may have been subscribed to my email list for years, nothing I’ve written appears to have gotten into his heart.
(I’ve spent a great deal of time talking about the problem of Christians taking offense and acting peevishly, let alone getting in the flesh and attacking people they’ve never even met.)
I “get” that Melvin was disappointed that the Titan no longer ships to his country. I’d be disappointed too. But to take offense like this? And does Melvin really think he’s punishing us by unsubscribing? (Who is he punishing … really?)
Example 2: Fielding Melish (not his real name)
“I have a big problem with you calling Billy Graham “great.” It’s wrong to call another Christian great! I’m unsubscribing!!!”
I sincerely wonder if Mr. Melish has trouble with Jesus using the word “great” to describe people:
“The GREATEST among you will be your servant.” ~ Matthew 23:11
“Truly I tell you, among those born of women there has not risen anyone GREATER than John the Baptist; yet whoever is least in the kingdom of heaven is GREATER than he.” ~ Matthew 11:11
“Whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called GREAT in the kingdom of heaven.” ~ Mathew 5:19
Hmmm …
Example 3: In this podcast episode, my email unsubscribers give me a piece of their minds. If you haven’t listened to it, give it a shot. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever come across. I bet you’ll feel the same.
Point: Take heart when people dismiss you. They aren’t at the stage in life where they’re ready to benefit from what God has given you. And they’ll often twist the mere mention of resources that can changes their lives as “merchandising” and “self-promotion,” neither of which is accurate.
Keep your focus on those who appreciate your message, regardless of the size. Write and speak to and for them.
It is their lives that God is using your words to transform.
Selah.
Thank you for this.
Sometimes I have genuinely questioned my own sanity when seemingly sentient, and supposedly mature, Christian men and women simply refuse to see what is so obviously taught by Jesus and the Apostles; they prefer to follow their own imaginations and teach the ideas of men as if they are the doctrines of God.
All I ever ask is ‘show me where you find (your idea) in the scriptures’; their response… ‘legalist’; ‘the word kills, but the spirit gives life’; ‘you hold too tightly to scripture’ Boy-oh-boy… deception cometh!
Oh to live worthy of the high calling!
Blessed be the Name of the LORD.
It truly is amazing as to what offends people, in both the spiritual and secular domains and especially from Christians and within families. I don’t think we will ever be able to work out exactly what goes on in the minds of others! This poses a problem as to how to ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. Anyway, I would like to be one of the “10X” people. Thank you Frank for writing Pagan Christianity which was the first book of yours the Lord sent to my hand (though not recommended by you as a first read).
I was not offended by you, instead set free to understand why we were not experiencing the ‘more’ of Christ and why ‘church’ seemed to be so empty and confusing and not in accordance with what we were reading in the Bible. I have read almost all of your books and done your courses. Thank you so so much for taking us all on that journey into the Kingdom of God. Your ministry has provided us with untold benefits, help and encouragement in the wilderness. Don’t worry, you are not an idol. We do read others too!?
For some of your readers I would recommend your “Revise Us Again” to understand some of people’s responses.
Thanks! Indeed, there’s a lot of garbage out there today and it’s really messing people up.
That’s why I put my top 100 recommended here: https://www.frankviola.org/top100 – you can’t go wrong with those specific titles.
Thank you for this timely message Frank, I feel the need to be reminded to not be easily offended fairly often lest I slip into a selfish attitude.
I am intrigued about your opening to the article “you carry a message. (I’ve explored how to discover your unique message elsewhere.)” and was wondering where I could find this “how to” amongst your body of work, please?
Grace and peace to you and your readers- David
I do this work here: https://www.frankviola.org/prolific
I was very happy to read this blog as I have recently started my own and was wondering how I was going to deal with this when it came up. So many times and in so many ways, the Lord has used you Frank to speak into my life at just the right time on a topic I was pondering. I’ve been a subscriber for several years and do not plan on unsubscribing soon even if I didn’t order Titan in time for shipping to Canada. I’m ok with that and I’m also ok that we don’t see eye to eye on everything you say. Someday everything will be made clear. Phil 3:15
This was timely for me. Thank you. I am greatly encouraged!
Thanks Frank for the article.
It feels like sanity is often doomed. It reinforces that people may be upset no matter how gracious or polite you may be. It further blows my mind when it is Christians.
Keep up the good work.
BTW I’m from Canada and don’t hold it against you all for not being able to ship a book here. Lol.
Cheers!
Steve 🙂
For every complaining, peevish email that lands in our inbox we get 10x more expressing gratitude and changed lives.
Nice encouragement Frank. I remember reading an interview with a big and famous TV pastor (please note he wasn’t “big” as in fat, just popular. Actually he is very skinny). The reporter said “You are liked by everyone, even the atheist love you”. He was pleased with this fact. I thought, if you are doing it right someone should not like you and disagree with you. They crucified Christ because they disagreed. They unsubscribed Jesus. In a different modern term “they voted Him off the island”. I find when people get angry their ignorance and inability to confront their differences bubbles to the surface. Keep doing what you are doing. Thanks.
“Beware when all men speak well of you.” ~ Jesus
I love your perspective on the two groups who you are actually glad to have “unsubscribed” to your blog; it really is true, and it was helpful to see how you phrased and described your view. For years I felt dismissed, dissed or even sometimes erased (invisible)—mostly from white evangelical males, actually. hmmmnn. … I now realize that it is their loss and their problem. But, it was often so painful, especially, as a big-picture, strategic thinker, I was often way down the road from most of these men. I didn’t realize this at the time until friends helped me to understand that. I thought I was just ‘party of the first part’; but, sadly, that wasn’t on their radar. Like you said, we all have a contribution to make. So many actually miss that. … sad.
Oh man! This was super encouraging! “If you try to write for everyone, you’re writing for no one. Take heart when people dismiss you. They aren’t at the stage in life where they’re ready to benefit from what God has given you. Keep your focus on those who appreciate your message, regardless of the size. Write and speak to and for them. It is their lives that God is using your words to transform.” Brilliant! And so helpful. Thank you, Frank! I’m deeply encouraged.
Sadly, this post is so true.
It is amazing how a person can go from being a Christian Super Star to being a Child of the Devil, in a couple of hours, over an inconsequential issue. Sometimes I wonder if some people spend all their time TRYING to be offended.
It is good to be reminded that this happens to us all. At least it means that people are taking notice.
Frank, how many unsubscribers do it simply because they already have too much mail in there inboxes, are maybe already subscribed to more than one Christian author, and feel that they would rather focus on the real world away from computers and fellowship with real people? IOW, they might have nothing against you or your message, but simply wants to unclutter their life a bit? E.g. spend more time alone with God. I ask, because I sometimes feel like that and just wondered if I am the only one? If I ever unsubscribe, you can be sure that this would be my reason, and not because I have anything against you or your message. Currently, I am very isolated (literally in the African bush), so it is a lifeline and the Lord bless me through you. But I can understand that it might be different for people who are lucky enough to have regular, face-to-face fellowship with other believers.
People unsubscribe for people’s email lists for all different kinds of reasons. But they *never* unsubscribe from those they don’t want to miss anything from.
I’m the same way. If, for instance, T. Austin-Sparks were still alive and sending out his “Witness & a Testimony” newsletters via email, I’d never unsubscribe from his list. Wouldn’t matter how much email I received.
Such wisdom. Thanks so much.
Frank. I’m subscribed to your email list and read your articles for the sake of learning things that Holy Spirit might want me to see. I’m grateful to God that what you write challenges my pre-conceptions when they need to be challenged. We are all companions on the journey. God bless you brother.
Proverbs 13:20 – Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.
Thank you!
I have a lot of catching up to do on reading your material, but this was very timely for me and very encouraging! I’m staying subscribed! 🙂
Thank you so much for this frank. I really needed to hear this today. One can get so discouraged, and like you said in previous posts, we don’t have cheerleaders cheering us on. Some times all that is needed is a encouraging word from a fellow brother. God bless you brother….
This article reminds me of Jesus’ words (Matt 5:11,12): “Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.”
As Solomon noted (Eccl 1:9): “The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.”
Blessings!
Excellent message Frank. Well said and to the point, another lesson for me on my current Jesus-directed journey of how to unlearn pleasing people and being softer on myself. Thanks brother.