Welcome to another Thursday UNFILTERED blog post, the only blog that doesn’t care what you think about its invisible Batman tattoo.
“But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.”
~ Philippians 2:22
“For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord … ”
~ 1 Corinthians 4:17
I’ve been working with a group of young ministers this year, most of whom are in their 30s.
I typically don’t share our conversations outside of our small group, but I thought this question from one of them — and my response to it — may help some of you.
Frank, how do you feel about spiritual fathers? I’ve always benefited from that relationship, but I had a friend who recently told me it was not of God.
This is an excellent question to illustrate the problem of mental filters.
This is how a filter works.
You mention “spiritual fathers” and everyone reading that phrase interprets it through the grid of their own background, theological outlook, and experiences.
The same thing happens with the words “church” – “pastor” – “apostle” – “baptism of the Spirit” – “revelation” – even “a revelation of Christ.”
All are filtered through a person’s experience, understanding, and denominational background.
Thus people can use the same words but mean very different things by them.
The same with “spiritual fathers.”
I can’t tell you how I feel about it unless I understand what specifically you are referring to.
For example, in the charismatic world there is a “spiritual fathering” teaching.
I know some of the movers and shakers who espouse it. (With respect to the ones I know, that’s virtually all they talk about.)
These people usually have a view of the “5-fold ministry” (which they also emphasize) that’s not scriptural but born out of human tradition.
(See Rethinking the Five-Fold Ministry.)
But from what I’ve seen, this kind of “spiritual fathering” is NOT what I see in the New Testament. No more than a Roman Catholic priest embodies what the New Testament means when it uses the word “priest.”
In addition, some of the “spiritual fathering” in that movement has been quite unhealthy — ranging from “fathers” who are control freaks on the one end or “fathers” who have no authentic or close relationships with their “sons” on the other end.
In that sense, “fathers” and “sons” are really nominal, but they are used as some kind of identity pedigree.
As in …
“My spiritual father is Joey Budafooko, aren’t you impressed?”
Or
“Oh yes, I have many spiritual sons, aren’t I a spiritual titan? And yeah, I glow in the dark too because the anointing I carry is so heavy.”
When it comes to what we find in the New Testament story, we have a principle that runs through the bloodstream of God’s work. And it is this:
When an older worker matures to a certain point and has a backlog of faithful spiritual experience and ministry, he trains younger workers to take his place.
That’s the fathering that we see in the New Testament. And it’s not nepotism, which is in the drinking water of the religious system today (but that’s another topic).
(By the way, what a “worker” is in the New Testament is another conversation and one that gets filtered too, but we’ll leave it there for now. I did address it in a book if you’re interested.)
Jesus trained twelve men in Galilee and Paul of Tarsus picked up the torch and duplicated this pattern in Ephesus, training eight men.
Timothy was one of those men. And so was Titus.
Paul calls them “sons” in some of his epistles.
“To Timothy, my true son in the faith …”
~ 1 Timothy 1:2
“To Titus, my true son in our common faith …”
~ Titus 1:4
The kind of “spiritual fathering” relationship that Paul had with his spiritual sons is one that I strongly advocate.
But in my experience and observation, that SPECIFIC kind of relationship is exotically rare today. And it has been throughout church history.
I believe there are two reasons for this:
- Most gifted leaders have never given any thought to producing spiritual sons who will take their place. The concept of passing the torch on to someone else has never crossed their mind.
(See Passing the Torch.)
- Some gifted leaders who “get” spiritual fathering haven’t permitted their egos to go fully to the cross. Consequently, they morph into spear-wielding Sauls who are threatened by any spiritual son who is recognized for their gifting and exhibits God’s favor in their lives.
By contrast, true spiritual fathers are genuinely interested in the lives and ministries of their sons.
They love them as if they were their own blood.
They pass on to them what God has given them without coveting any glory.
In fact, they desire their sons to outshine them.
Now all of that requires a tremendous amount of breaking to one’s ego and sense of self-importance, which is precisely why true spiritual fathers breathe rarified air.
In short, what goes by fathers/sons today really isn’t in most cases.
So to answer your question, that’s how I feel about it. 🙂
I pray that God will give us all a rich dose of His mercy to be true spiritual fathers and mothers.
Until next Thursday,
fv
Christian Stuff That’s Not Boring
Books for Abnormal People – all the published books on one page. These are for “abnormal” people who don’t think like the masses.
The Deeper Christian Life Network – the network equips and connects serious followers of Jesus from all over the world who have embraced the gospel of the kingdom (i.e., the Insurgence). Contains the exclusive Master Classes, Monthly Q & A, Scriptural Game-Changers, Inside Peeks, Prayer Requests, etc.
The Insurgence Podcast – conversations about the explosive gospel of the kingdom. A new episode releases every other Tuesday. Gratis.
The Christ is All Podcast – over 145 episodes. A new episode drops every other Tuesday. Gratis.
Surviving Your Storm – this new audio course supplements the recent book release Hang On, Let Go: What to Do When Your Dreams Are Shattered and Life Is Falling Apart. The course is highly practical.
How to Live by the Indwelling Life of Christ – this premium discipleship course trains you on how to practically live by the life of Christ, making Galatians 2:20 a walking reality.
Complete Article Archive – over 1,000 blog posts. Just scroll down. Articles move from most recent to least recent. Gratis.
The Deeper Journey YouTube Channel – contains many different playlists. Gratis.
P.S. If someone wanted to change your life and zealously forced this blog post on you, you can appease them and subscribe here. It’s gratis and comes with a dozen Super Fire Hot Wings … the kind you can only eat after you sign a set of release forms. (No lemon suckers please. They won’t understand the humor.)
What’s a Miracle, Really?
Thank you for addressing this topic. Great stuff.
It seems the mental filter that trips people up with this is they misapply the concept of the church as a family. They figure a family has parents and children, right? And the fact that Paul called Timothy his son proves that right?
One thing that helped nail this down for me is the one important word that’s missing that changes everything. Timothy was LIKE a spiritual son to Paul and Paul was LIKE a spiritual father to Timothy and the Thessalonians. These are analogous relationships; not status or identity relationships.
In God’s family, He is the parent(s) and the humans are the children. In status and identity, Paul and Timothy were brothers, regardless of their age or maturity level differences. Even Jesus calls us His brother (Hebrews 2:11-15).
I think once that’s the mental filter that’s used, everything changes and you can start to more clearly see what being like fathers and sons to each other entails and doesn’t entail like is pointed out here. When this mental filter isn’t used, I’ve observed you just end up fracturing God’s family.
The way I see it is it’s fathers and mothers with their adult sons and daughters. Paul’s letters do talk about the church as family a lot where there are brothers and sisters and fathers and mothers and even babes, but it’s not like a father with his toddlers, it’s like a father or mother with their adult children.
Well, gosh golly gee, Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli.
You make me laugh Frank.
I thought all young disciples were hoping Hillsong pastor Joey Budafooko, spiritual father to the stars, flies in on his chopper to baptize you in a rooftop Penthouse swimming pool.
You know?
Like when he baptized that superstar rockstar christian, Justine Beehive?
Oh yeah that was lit.
Not Jesus-ee.
Just lit.
(Good stuff Frank.)
Wow! That’s really eye opening.
Frank, excellent article as usual. You are spot on!
Wonderful.
Praise the Lord for technology and other means that allows us who’ve never really had spiritual fathers (in this this) at least the opportunity to find a distant mentor from whom we can learn and grow up in the Lord.
Thank you, Frank, for your faithful ministry and message regarding the truths and notions concerning the gospel of the Kingdom.
Frank, I’m an avid reader of your books and I also have your Titan. I do not see spiritual parenting as biblical for our day. The Apostles, as the our forerunners in the Gospel, have the unique distinction of be able to call themselves ’fathers’. This is because they are the first and only teachers of us all (through scripture) in Christ. We who build on the foundation they laid are simply carrying on their work.
Because I teach the scriptures and someone becomes a believer by it does not make me their spiritual parent. Though I mentor others in the Gospel and someone takes up where I leave off, that doesn’t make me their parent. We are all fellow laborers together in Christ. While some have gifts and callings to continue the growth of the Body of Christ, I don’t believe we become parents of those believers.
I agree wholeheartedly that many take this parenting to become rulers over and controllers of others. It is used to manipulate people into servants of men than of God and make people follow God’s Word. Our focus should be on just presenting the truth of God’s Word and let people be guided by the the Holy Spirit from there.
Surprised that you say you’re an “avid reader” of Frank’s books, when he has written (and spoken) a lot about mentors and the need for mentoring. He makes a biblical case for it in some of his books. Seems that the message hasn’t gotten through.
He’s talking about the kind of mentoring relationship that Paul had with some of the men he trained, it’s certainly biblical. Apostlic ministry continues today. His book “finding organic church” goes into it in detail.
I thought the same thing. Frank has talked a lot about apostolic ministry!
Great article. Love the “passing of the torch” one also.
Absolutely 100% spot on!!! I’ve been a part of the whole “spiritual father/son” mess in the Charismatic movement and from what I saw it was nothing more than a spiritual mafia where the “father” was the godfather and as long as you did what he wanted everything worked out well. But, step out of line (i.e. be yourself and not a carbon copy of the “father) and you get whacked! May we truly get back to New Covenant fathering.
Thanks for a useful overview nicely explained.
Oh my goodness! My husband was JUST talking about this this morning! Thank you SO much for this and I agree with your understanding 100%.