Expect Misunderstandings

Welcome to another Thursday UNFILTERED blog post, the only blog that believes Bigfoot is actually blurry, so stop blaming the photographer.

Many years ago, I gave a forty-four-minute talk on the Cave of Adullam as a metaphor of how Jesus Christ builds a kingdom community.

In my opening, I made a few brief remarks about psychology. I said that psychologists have discovered various stages in human development. The rest of the message had nothing to do with psychology, psychologists, or human development.

The entire talk focused on the developmental stages of an authentic church.

When I finished the message, I opened the floor for questions. The first hand that shot up was from an older woman who didn’t even ask a question. She made a statement.

The woman said, “You mentioned psychology. Psychologists disagree with each other; therefore, psychology cannot be proven and it’s unscientific.”

My first thought was that she deserved fifteen minutes in purgatory for making such an off-topic statement. Apparently the only thing she heard in my forty-four-minute talk on the Lord Jesus Christ and His body was my fleeting introductory comment about human development.

Welcome to the ministry, friends.

I have a simple point to make from that story. It’s impossible to preach, teach, exhort, counsel, offer advice, write, etc., without being misunderstood.

Sometimes the blame for the misunderstanding can be laid at your feet. You didn’t nuance your words enough. You weren’t clear. You were sloppy and spoke carelessly. Or you had the audacity to use a word that begins with “psych.”

Ahem.

At other times, the misunderstanding occurs because of a “filter” in the hearer.

In such cases, the persons listening (or reading) filter your words through the grid of their own experience. Either that or they missed the nuance, jumped to an inaccurate conclusion, or didn’t listen (or read) carefully.

There are also times when certain words or images you use trigger a painful or sensitive memory for the hearer.

Straining at Gnats

I remember Jack Taylor telling the story of a preacher who once used the word britches in his sermon. (Britches is an old term for trousers or pants.)

When the preacher finished his talk, a woman said to him, “I’m offended that you used the word britches in your sermon! You should have used trousers.”

The preacher replied, “Do you remember what I said before I used the word britches?”

“No,” she answered.

“Do you remember what I said after I used the word britches?”

“No,” she said.

“I see,” he replied. “Well, I’m glad I used the word britches, because if I hadn’t, you would have gotten nothing out of my sermon.”

Of course, his sermon didn’t focus on britches, pants, trousers, or psychologists.

Would you like a word of encouragement? People even misunderstood the flawless Son of God.

Jesus made a strange statement about how Peter would die. Peter then asked Jesus how John would die. The Lord gave a simple but direct response: “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me” (John 21:22).

The text then tells us that the disciples misunderstood the Lord’s meaning and spawned a false rumor based on their faulty interpretation.

John recorded the incident:

Then this saying went out among the brethren that this disciple [John] would not die. Yet Jesus did not say to him that he would not die, but, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you?”

John 21:23, nkjv

We can gain two game-changing insights from this story.

The first has to do with Jesus’ words to Peter: “If I want him [John] to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me” (John 21:22).

These straightforward words inform us to never concern ourselves with God’s dealings in the lives of others. We must focus on following the Lord ourselves.

Too often, we worry about what others are doing or not doing in their relationship with God. Or we worry about how God might be dealing with them. But Jesus gave Peter a sobering response to such worries: “How I deal with that person is My business, not yours. You focus on following Me!”

In other words, don’t worry about the responsibilities of others. Concern yourself only with your responsibility.

A game changer, for sure.

Usually, people apologize for something they’ve done while also laying blame on others. Example: “I’m sorry that I spit in your face, but you smirked at me, which provoked me to do it.”

Okay, it’s usually not that blatant, but it often comes close.

What does Jesus say about this? Something to the tune of, “You take responsibility for your part and don’t concern yourself with the other person’s part. Leave their part to Me.”

The Perfect Communicator

We find the other game-changing insight in the second text. Jesus, who spoke perfectly, was misunderstood by His disciples. Read it again:

Then this saying went out among the brethren that this disciple [John] would not die. Yet Jesus did not say to him that he would not die, but, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you?”

John 21:23, nkjv

The disciples misunderstood the One who spoke flawlessly. So much so that a false rumor spread about what He said.

I remember reading this account many years ago when someone misunderstood and misrepresented one of my own teachings.

This both discouraged and perplexed me because I thought I had been crystal clear in my presentation. But this passage relieved and reassured me.

Even Jesus, the greatest communicator who ever breathed oxygen, was misunderstood by His closest followers.

Another game changer.

Since that time, these two texts have meant a great deal to me personally.

To sum up, on the one hand, do your dead-level best to avoid being misunderstood. Take pains to be as clear as possible. (There’s one exception to this. The exception is if you’re telling a parable or story in order to deliberately sift your hearers, as Jesus did in Mark 4:9-12.)

On the other hand, expect misunderstandings, because they will come.

This article is a chapter from my book 48 Laws of Spiritual Power.

Until next Thursday,

fv

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Frank is taking invitations to speak in churches, conferences, seminars, etc. for 2023. If you are interested in inviting him to speak at your event, go to his Speaking page.

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