Welcome to another Thursday UNFILTERED blog post, the only blog that wants you to know that if it received a dollar every time it thought about you, it would start thinking about you.
Quick update: I appreciate all the positive feedback on last week’s article on discernment. Also, for those of you who asked about my online training for authors that covers all things publishing, writing, marketing, etc. the SCRIBE online training is open now until March 17th. Once you have it, it’s yours for life and you take it at your own pace.
Now for today’s article.
Over on The Deeper Christian Life Network, we regularly feature a Hot Seat where one of the participants anonymously shares a problem or struggle they’re enduring.
Everyone else chimes in with feedback and advice.
Today, I’m featuring one of the Hot Seats and responding to it myself. Here it is:
I know that the Lord has forgiven all of my sins. This is promised in His Word. But I’m having a hard time getting over some things I’ve done in the past, I mean long ago like over twenty years ago, and they keep coming back to my memory. (I committed these failures while I was a genuine believer, though I was blind to my state.) I won’t say I feel “guilt” as though God is holding these sins against me, but I feel horrible remorse and painful regret. What can I do to overcome this? What strategies can I use when these memories and the awful feelings of regret come to my mind? I’m sure I am not the only one who struggles with regret and the pain of past failures. I am hoping that some of you who are wise can help. As Frank said in a recent article on his blog newsletter, I need some “practicals” on this one, some “hows,” not truths about forgiveness that I already know. Thank you.
Regret is one of the most unpleasant feelings in the human experience.
People who have no regret have either lived a near perfect life, have memory problems, or possess an insensitive conscience.
Jim Rohn famously said, “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”
According to the New Testament, there are two kinds of regret.
One is regret unto death; the other is regret unto life.
And we are given an example of each.
Judas exemplifies regret unto death.
After betraying Jesus, he felt deep and agonizing regret. But Judas did not go to God with it. Instead, he allowed the piercing pain of regret to sink him into the grip of despair and end his own life.
If Judas allowed his regret to break him in godly remorse and sorrow, and he threw himself on the mercies of Jesus, I believe the Lord would have forgiven and restored him.
(I’m aware that Judas’ betrayal and death was prophesied before he was born, but the prophecy didn’t force him to betray Jesus or commit suicide. It simply foresaw the decision Judas made.)
Regrettably (ha!), Judas didn’t run to God after his sin. He ran away from Him. So his regret led to death.
For us, death may not be physical. It could be illness (which is incipient death), depression, despair, or a pause in one’s relationship to the Lord.
Peter exemplifies regret unto life.
If you recall, before Peter disowned Jesus three times, the Lord said to him, “But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers” (Luke 22:32).
After Peter’s sin, he wept bitterly, but his tears were that of godly remorse and repentance.
Peter ran to God, not away from Him. His regret, therefore, led to life.
When Jesus broke through the tomb and was raised from the dead, the angels told the women at the empty tomb something remarkable.
“Tell his disciples … and Peter” (Mark 16:7).
Astonishing! “Go tell the Lord’s disciples and Peter that Jesus is alive, and He’ll meet them in Galilee.”
Those words embody forgiveness, mercy, love, and reconciliation.
Not long after, Jesus made Peter the chief of the apostles—a magnificent, yet mind-boggling stroke of mercy.
Here was a failed apostle who was restored to feed the Lord’s sheep and open the doors to God’s kingdom on the day of Pentecost.
Regarding sorrow and regret, Paul wrote the following words to the Corinthian believers:
I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.
~ 2 Corinthians 7:9-10
Godly regret leads to repentance and restoration. Ungodly regret leads to despair and death.
Unbelief is at the root of ungodly regret.
What was the difference between Judas and Peter?
I think the Lord’s “Parable of the Talents” give us a clue. The man who hid his talent did so because of the way he viewed God.
Here are his words:
I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.
~ Matthew 25:24-25
Why did this man view God this way? According to Jesus, it was because he was “wicked and slothful” (v. 26).
Psalms 18:25-26 says,
To the faithful you show yourself faithful, to the blameless you show yourself blameless, to the pure you show yourself pure, but to the devious you show yourself shrewd.
Even though Peter and Judas spent the same amount of time with the Lord, Judas didn’t see Jesus the way Peter did. And I believe that’s why he responded to his regret in a drastically different way.
This is why it’s so vital that we have an inward revelation of Christ.
If you are struggling with regret, here are some practical things you can do right now:
*Confess out loud to God the things you regret. And tell Him if you had the chance and could rewind the tape, you’d do things differently.
*By faith, lay hold of His forgiveness which He purchased for you by the death of Christ. God will rescue the penitent heart. Jesus died to cover 10,000 regrets.
*If you have sinned against another person, confess it to them and make restitution where it applies. (Zacchaeus is a great example of repentance and restitution.)
*Recognize that grace is for the hopeless, meaning, it’s for you and me. We have a Lord who welcomed the thief on the cross into Paradise.
*Believe that God’s sovereignty can turn your disasters (the things you regret) into good. Romans 8:28 is still in the Bible. There is nothing you can do that God cannot redeem and weave into His tapestry of beauty and glory.
*Know that the feeling of regret deepens your gratitude and gratefulness for His incomprehensible mercy and unfailing grace.
*Accept that the time for regret will end. Ephesians 2:11-12 exhorts us to “remember” our former days. Philippians 3:13 exhorts us to “forget” what’s behind and lay hold of what’s ahead.
*Spend time considering the consequences you have suffered from the sins you regret the most. While Jesus paid for your eternal forgiveness, we often pay (in full and sometimes more) untold suffering in this life from the things we regret. This consideration is quite powerful in removing the painful agony that characterizes the feeling of regret.
Once you’ve done the above, move on in faith.
I’ll close with two fitting Psalms:
If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
~ Psalm 130:3-4
How blessed is he whose wrongdoing is forgiven,
Whose sin is covered!
How blessed is a person whose guilt the LORD does not take into account,
And in whose spirit there is no deceit!
I acknowledged my sin to You,
And I did not hide my guilt;
I said, “I will confess my wrongdoings to the LORD”;
And You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah
~ Psalm 32:1-2, 5
Until next Thursday,
fv
Psalm 115:1
A Test of Discernment