21 responses

  1. Josh
    August 15, 2013

    Well put.

    Point 1 reminds me of a phrase that keeps coming to mind – a desire to “Cultivate a culture of clarification”. I too easily react to what I think another’s intent is or what I interpret as their meaning.

    Lord, help me.

  2. Matt
    April 16, 2013


    I came to this page following several links on the sad passing of Matthew Warren. My sympathy goes out to the Warren family and anyone affected by suicide. It’s a most difficult issue. In your article about responses to Matthew’s passing, you indicated that non-believers arare non-believers because of the way Christians treat each other. Although I can’t provide a thorough statistical analysis, I am confisent that this “reason” is not pervasive among non-believers as a primary reason for non-belief. In fact, it has nothing to do with belief structure at all. I would challenge the individual you cite in this article to re-evaluate their belief system if that is their reason for not believing. I like to consider myself an Agnostic, although it’s pribably more likely that I am a true atheist. With all due respect, I would hope that you can do a better job of answering your own question: Why don’t non-believers believe? The real answer runs much deeper and is much more rooted in evidence and reason than you assign to us. Please feel free to discuss this with me by e-mail if you like. Thank you. – Matt

    • Frank Viola
      April 16, 2013

      Matt: You’ve misread the post. Nowhere does it state THE reason why non-believers don’t believe. It simply stated ONE of the reasons why SOME non-Christians choose not to get involved in Christianity. This is so prevalent that it would be presumptuous on our part to doubt their testimony. We can’t read people’s minds and as I’ve pointed out elsewhere, it’s wrong to judge another person’s motives. We certainly wouldn’t want someone presuming as to the *real* reason why we believe.

  3. Brian P.
    April 9, 2013

    The world is not just watching, we’re munching popcorn.

  4. Ron Pagliarulo
    April 9, 2013

    Those 7 things should be printed and hung on every Christians wall, their bathroom mirrors, everywhere. That is solid, indisputable teaching right there.

  5. Nathan Lambshead
    April 9, 2013

    Maybe this is why I fundamentally became a messianic Jew from being a christian? Their chart is a lot better. lol

  6. Davidson
    April 8, 2013

    Great insights and thank you!!

  7. Vic Cameron
    February 22, 2013

    Good post, sad state of affairs that you need to write about this though …

  8. Kevin Tindall
    January 14, 2013

    Jesus asked, “Kevin, why is it my people who call themselves by my name, cannot extend to one another the same grace I have extended to them?” Kevin responded. I do not know Lord. Jesus said, “Self righteousness.”

    • Nancy
      January 15, 2013

      Yes, Kevin, that would explain a lot of reasons for rejection of those who are “just not good enough” for the inner circle.

  9. Mark Bernard
    January 14, 2013

    Frank you are right (once agaIn). It is my personal conviction that until we live out the kind of cross based fellowship that the NT envisioned then we will not see Jesus evangelism plan comes to pass that in our unity as brothers and sisters in Christ the world will know that He has come cf John 17:23. There is one thing that I will add, however. Gandi’s excuse will not cut the mustard in the last day, as the issue is not the church, ultimately, it is Christ. I came to Jesus Christ because a revelation of Him, and that is the measuring stick by wich salvation is measured. So let us love one another, but not because of any other reason than because He first loved us.

  10. Jack
    January 14, 2013

    The Ghandi quote you referenced used to be my favorite, especially after I became a Christian. When I learned more about the person of Christ and His love for the church- made up of Christians- I felt like a fool. How could I love the Christ and judge the ones Christ loves so dearly? I had held people up to impossible standards and required very little of myself, because after all I had Christ in me. When it hit me that I had been walking in the flesh, but truly thought I was walking in the Spirit there was nothing left to judge in another. Things happen. People fail miserably. The point of all of this is to look past the person and see the Christ in them. When I’ve judged a Christian, I had forgotten that Christ was in there. How humbling. We can never be reminded too much about how to treat each other. Thanks for the post.

  11. Dona Leah
    January 14, 2013


  12. Pat
    January 14, 2013

    Great Post Frank! Thanks for the reminder.

  13. Roger Street
    January 14, 2013

    Dear Frank,

    I’m in a great little church where we are trying to move theological thought and discussion along in a manner which helps us witness to the world more effectively. There is a range of theological positions which we try to articulate to one another whilst sustaining our worship and prayer and fellowship together. It’s a challenge disagreeing with fellow members and your comments are both a personal challenge and a help.

    Many thanks.

  14. Kenneth Dawson
    January 14, 2013

    I recently had someone who claims to be Christian attack me on Facebook on a comment I made to another Christian..my first reaction was to want to argue with them..instead I turned the situation over to The Lord and he calmed me down..my reaction back to both of them was of his spirit and all turned out peaceful.

  15. Vinny
    January 14, 2013

    Because of the exhaustive and mostly fruitless efforts for years trying to figure out how tho live the “christian life” I came to my end cried out to Jesus for help and the summation of this blog is what I believe the deafening whisper I heard in response to this cry.
    Since I have obeyed this whisper and moved towards ” OneAnothering” as I believe He wants me to not necessarily the way handed down to me from our forefathers. I have begun to experience an intimacy with Him who loves us and others that is indescribable.
    Loving OneAnother as if it is Him is not hyperbole but true, especially among his children and until He lets us peek into His book of life love as if they are.
    Best decision I ever made since I began to walk with Him :-)

  16. Greg Dressel
    January 14, 2013

    I love what Robin McMillian said, “Your judgement of what other people’s motives are binds you to unforgiveness. Key to forgiveness, “they know not what they are doing.” Forgiveness becomes easier when we stop assuming intent.

    I have come to understand that there is stuff in my heart all the time that the Father is dealing with, I could not see. How the heck could I think I could see in someone else heart?

    Set us free from that Lord. May Your High Priestly prayer for unity become known in our day.

  17. larry w
    January 14, 2013

    I found myself in your blog and will pray for the Holy Spirit to guard my mind and mouth. Thank you. Love your blog posts. I am your brother in Christ.

  18. kelli
    January 14, 2013

    I often times think that people don’t want to listen to Christians not only because of how we treat one another in our own “circle” but also how we treat anybody in general that is different from us and our beliefs/views. When we try to shove our own ideas, beliefs, doctrines, etc. down anyone else’s throat, regardless of whether they are a Christian or not, we do ourselves a disservice and maim the name of Christ.

  19. Steve Cornell
    January 14, 2013

    Thanks Frank,
    This is succinct and a better presentation of this truth than I’ve seen yet.

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